Brendon Burchard

How to Attract More Love

Summary

How do you attract more love into your life?
First, your initial intention should be to GIVE love not just get it. If you want more love, put more out there. Here’s four more ways to attract more love and people into your life:
#1. Be open! We attract something new in our lives when we have created the white space around us, allowing new energy to enter. Let go of some structure in your life, and go into situations with a full openness and faith that good things will emerge. Bringing this kind of energy and attitude into your life is going to draw people to you.

#2. Bring the Joy! 
Nothing is more attractive than when you are in your full element, your full being. It’s your joy and gratitude for life that attracts people. Don’t wait for the joy to come to you – generate it! The power plant doesn’t have energy, it generates it, and in the same way we don’t “have” joy we transform our energy into producing it.


#3. Try!
 Make an effort with other people again. Be intentional about the energy you bring into other people’s lives as well as the energy you are hoping to elicit from them.  Start truly paying attention to people. Be present with them. They will feel your effort and they will appreciate it.

#4. Spend more time with people. A lot of people struggle with attracting others into their lives because they’re so transactional and rushed with their relationships. Rather than rushing through interactions, sit and enjoy your time with people.  As you enjoy more time with people, they want to introduce you to more of their friends and soon your network expands.

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Complement with these previous posts:
How To Deal With Negative People
How to Re-Discover Your Passion
When You Feel Lonely
How To Take Care of Yourself and Others
I Fall In Love Everyday 
Relationship Advice

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FULL TRANSCRIPT

[The following is the full transcript of this episode of The Charged Life with Brendon Burchard. Please note that this episode, like all TCL episodes, features Brendon speaking extemporaneously–he is unscripted and unedited. Filmed in one take, The Charged Life has become one of the most viewed unscripted, direct-to-camera self-help series in the history of Youtube. It has also been the #1 Podcast in all of iTunes and is regularly in the top podcasts in Self-Help and Health categories around the globe. Subscribe to the free motivational podcast on iTunes or Stitcher.)

How do you attract more love into your life? Now, this counts if you have no love in your life, or even if you already have someone in your life. Maybe you’re at a point in the relationship where you’re looking to give or receive more from each other.
So, how do you pull that energy of love in from another person? How do you elicit it? How do you get it from the universe? These are the big questions that people usually talk about when they start speaking about attracting love.
First and foremost, your initial focus should not be to attract love. It should be to give love. While I will talk about how to attract love, let’s just get this piece down.

The real force and the real pull of the universe isn’t about just handing us things. I believe love is located at a spiritual level, and that we can attract it.

People go through the motions in their day and they get caught up. They’re easily distracted, they’re easily moved emotionally in the positive and negative ways, and life catches up to them.

If you really want to experience love in your life, you need to get disciplined to put it out there.

So, let’s just start with that. If you want more love, put more out there. That’s what’s going to “attract” it.

Now that we have those framing concepts in place, here’s four ideas for attracting love.
#1 Be open. We attract something new into our lives when we have created the white space around us, which allows new energy to enter. Most people say that they are open. They say, “Well Brendon, I’m open, I’m a liberal.” Or, “Brendon, I’m open, I’m this.” Or “I’m open, I’m that.”
That’s not what I mean when I use the word ‘open’. What I mean by ‘open’ is the absence of structure. If you think about it spatially, what makes a room open is the absence of structure.
So, in your own life, sometimes, all that structure that you’re trying to build to perfect things, to organize things, to discipline things, to keep everything great, is the same structure that can also blind you as well as prevent and block out more from coming in.
Sometimes, you need to be okay with an imperfect routine. Your habits don’t have to be exact. What you think needs to happen when you go into that networking experience doesn’t necessarily need to happen. That dinner out with the girls doesn’t have to go a specific way.
Try being structureless in social situations. Lower your expectations. Lower your anticipation.
Instead, go in with a full openness and trust in the universe, with a full faith that something amazing could come in that you might not have any control over. If you need help on this, go watch that old movie Serendipity with John Cusack.
You have to trust that in your social situations that things will come to you.
Be open to that possibility of things working out.
Here’s a simple way to do that. I call it the Door Frame Tag. I use this strategy anytime I walk into a new door in a social situation that matters to me, including meeting somebody new, going to networking events, or even going to a bar to meet friends. When I walk through a doorframe, I trigger my mind to say, “What’s this going to be like?”
There’s an enthusiasm in that question. Rather, it’s not like I know what I want. The question allows me to have a higher curiosity. Thus, this offers increased openness, faith and trust that something cool is going to happen. That energy is going to draw people to you.
That anticipation that something good around here is going to happen is going to draw people to you.
#2. Joy.
Nothing is more attractive than when you are in your full element. It’s your joy of life, that gratitude, that sense that you’re happy with your life, that attracts people.
Nothing’s less attractive than the person who is always complaining or moaning.
Keep in mind that it’s okay that you’re not always happy. This is not about putting a smile on for everybody and faking it.
But do everything you can to set up habits and take care of your mind in such a way that you generate more happiness.
We’re meant to be vibrant, happy, and joyous people.
But that doesn’t happen by itself. We have to try and work at it because life gets in the way. There’s that jerk who cut you off at work, that person who stole your trust, or that person who was mean to you over here. It’s those moments in life that remind us that we have to bring the joy for ourselves.
Don’t wait for the joy to enter you on its own. Your beautiful laugh is that one that’s true and genuine and joyous in the moment.
Joy is spontaneous. Joy is present. And it is something we can also learn to cue.
We can learn to appreciate that thing that brings us joy. You can use cues to remember to be grateful and feel more joy. The more joyous you are, the more you attract good energy into your life.
#3. Try. Try with other people again. I watch people talk at lunch. They’re not really trying to be engaged. They’re not really there. And it’s great that they’re comfortable with themselves, but what they’re doing is they’re going through the motions. Very few amazing things happen when two people are just going through the motions. Unless our time together is imbued by a challenge or a presence or vibrancy, usually our default is homeostasis. That is not something that gets people’s attention, and that isn’t attractive.
What gets people’s attention is when you put an effort into listening to them, to being present with them, to changing the energy between the two of you for you to spark something.
Stop waiting for good energy to come into your life, and start generating great energy. You will feel the difference.
Put effort in generating intentional energy again. Really pay attention to people. Be present with them. They will feel that you’re trying and they will appreciate it.
I’m not suggesting that you fake it. So, if it’s not authentic and real, don’t do it. But you must try more often to show up as your best self in conversations and to try and pull out the best in others.
The sexiest person is someone who is trying to pull out the best energy from you.
Whether they’re trying to pull out the flirtation in you or pull out the joy in you or the gratitude in you or that positive range of emotions from you, that’s pretty sexy. So, try to bring out the best in others.
#4. Be willing to spend more time with people. A lot of people struggle attracting people into their lives because they’re so transactional and rushed with their relationships.
For example, going to get a quick bite with someone is a transactional engagement. Rather than rushing through interactions, sit and enjoy your time with people. As you enjoy more time with people, they want to introduce you to more of their people. Your network expands. As your network expands, people meet you in a place where you are open, and they meet you in a place where you are joyous.
And all of a sudden, you’ve got more people referring more people to you and you attract more people. When you’re meeting more people and opening your yourself to a new and expanding network, you will also meet that ‘one’, find that love. And if you already have that love, all these same rules apply.
Could you be more open in your relationship?
Maybe, for too long, you’ve been too fixated on how things need to go, rather than focusing on bringing more joy into your relationships. Stop waiting for your partner to take out the garbage or to be perfect; rather, give them joy today. Could you try a little bit more to be a good husband, a good wife, a good girlfriend, a good boyfriend? And could you give a little more quality time to your partner?
I bet if you did those things, you’d start to feel like you’ve attracted love without realizing what you’ve done. That is, you’ve put out the very thing that you still desperately desire, and so it came to you.
I hope that serves you. There’s a lot of love in this world. It’s there. Spiritually, it’s there all the time. It’s in our hearts all the time. Now, we just need to amplify it if we wish to attract it. I hope you’ve enjoyed this and you’re always living The Charged Life.