Brendon Burchard

How to Be Beautiful

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What makes somebody beautiful?

That’s a good one.

What makes someone beautiful is that they appreciate the beauty in other people without any jealousy or mimicry.

A beautiful person can look at you and they actually see you, accept you and recognize the beauty and the divine in you, which is what makes them beautiful.

Their presence and ability to be with you makes them beautiful.

Their ability to be alive in that moment and appreciate what they’re seeing and sensing makes them beautiful.

That’s a big thing for me, but I think there’s a general categorization that’s even higher than that for a lot of people when they think about beauty. I think the first thing about beauty is just genuineness.

A person who is authentically themselves, and I know people hate the word authenticity today, but it’s such a good word. It means that the person is true to themselves, that their unique spirit is on display for the world because they aren’t mimicking the world. They aren’t trying to be somebody else or acting like this other person over here, they’re just them. It’s like an aliveness in the moment you can sense from it.

You know someone is genuine when there is spontaneity to the things they say, to the actions they take. Their reactions to the world are spontaneous. They aren’t so measured and calculated at every single thing, because when you see those people you don’t think they’re authentic. You think that they’re manipulating. It’s hard to see them as beautiful because there’s a darkness to them. You’re like, I’m not sure this person is real. I’m not sure this person has my good intentions. I’m not sure this person right here… I can’t vibe with them because there’s nothing popping about them that shows me that’s them.

Every beautiful person that you think about, there’s a unique characteristic to them. It’s not just about how they do their hair or what they wear or if their makeup is perfect. It’s like there’s something about them that you’re like, “That’s a unique character. I don’t know exactly what it is but I can tell they’re genuine, alive in who they are and they’re demonstrating their unique and true spirit to the world.” That’s sexy. That’s beautiful.

It doesn’t matter their size, their shape, their background, their color, their beliefs; none of that matters. It’s, are they alive in themselves of who they are, that genuine true spirit. If that’s there… woo! that’s sexy.

Another thing that makes people sexy is they’re interested in the world. They have a curiosity about you, about other people and they’re just interested in things. It’s that curiosity that you’re just like, oh wow, this person likes to learn, which makes them more beautiful because they’re interested in the world. And they’re compelling to talk to, because they have so many interests they can have a longer discussion with you because they aren’t so narrow about knowing just one thing in the world.

They have lots of interests around the world and they can talk about a lot of interesting things going on in the world, in their personal life and in other people’s lives, because they’re paying attention. That’s that awareness that makes someone beautiful.

There’s an awareness, an interest and curiosity about them that it makes them intriguing, because they are intrigued.

I think another thing that makes people beautiful is that there’s passion there. They’re passionate about something.

They might not be passionate all the time like me, I mean, I’m a clown. I’m this annoying all the time, believe me.

They have a passion for life, for a specific topic or a specific person. There’s something that they geek out about, that they love to talk about, even if it’s something silly. It doesn’t have to be all the time where they’re fired up and gesturing and running around. They don’t have to be crazy. They don’t have to be like me. They have to be themselves, but they have to be so interested in something that when they convey it, it comes across as real energy.

The people who are not attractive are black holes. These people have dark energy that just sucks everybody in and drowns them in pools of pessimism.

A pessimist is not that attractive as a person, not because their beliefs about things might not turn out well… I mean, a realist could come across as a pessimist but that’s not what it’s about. It’s about, is there something they find a passion for that’s positive?

Some people are passionate about hatred, right. That’s not sexy or attractive. When you see someone who’s passionate and enraged with anger, that’s not sexy – that’s scary. There’s nothing to that really, especially when they’re out of control in anger, then it’s even hard to respect it, because they can’t and will not take personal responsibility enough to align their actions, behaviors and emotions in ways that are supportive to others, to the situations to handle them. They fly off the handle and people who fly off the handle are not that attractive. Some people are initially attracted to them because it’s passion, but then they discover that that passion is attached to a negative expression.

Passion attached to negative expression over and over becomes grinding and it’s not attractive.

I believe that passion attached to positive things, passion attached to things that progress humanity forward – that’s sexy.

That’s why people with a cause or a mission, volunteers who are passionate about something, they’re sexy even when they’re running around in those ugly volunteer shirts that you get, where they always give you the super big extra large shirt with some dumb logo on it.

Volunteers are sexy, because they’re passionate and excited about something.

They are genuinely doing something that feels like they’re serving, doing good and giving.

They’re interested in helping other people, and that’s why I think do-gooders are sexy. They’re beautiful people. It doesn’t matter their size, shape or background it’s just about their spirit. Their intent is so positive.

Those are things that, for me, make somebody beautiful. I think they all wrap down to two very simple things…

First, there’s an aliveness about this person. There is some kind of positive passion, a genuine expression. There’s an aliveness and animation to them that’s unique to them that is sexy and attractive.

I would also say there’s an authenticity to them, a real awareness of self, an awareness to their experience in which they can respond in such genuine, real and spontaneous ways that you say, “Wow, what a beautiful person.”