Develop Your Self-Awareness


  • “The first big gate of personal development that I believe everybody goes through in their own journey to maturity, happiness, fulfillment, aliveness, connection with others, ultimate life satisfaction — that first gate is awareness.”
  • Looking to increase your self-awareness? In this episode, learn tactical lessons to implement into your daily life to become more confident and live a more fulfilling life. 
  • “You don’t go through the gates of awareness all the time by choice. Sometimes it’s pushed upon you.”
  • From time to time, we all find ourselves feeling out of control, overwhelmed, or unsure if we’re making the right life choices. In this episode, discover ways to master your self-awareness so you can take back the wheel of your life and your future.
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  1. Get the High Performance System! 

    If you want to level up personally and professionally, High Performance System is the resource you need. The High Performance System will guide you through developing and implementing the 6 science-backed habits that will move the needle from ordinary to extraordinary. Develop the habits that lead to long-term success, positive relationships, and healthy well-being! Get the High Performance System!

  2. Get the GrowthDay app! 

    Make self-improvement a way of life and get the GrowthDay app! GrowthDay features all your personal development tools, coaching and community in one place. Write your journal, track your habits, take wellness challenges, watch live influencers teaching new life strategies, and join a global community of positive and supportive high achievers excited to improve their lives! Get the app on Apple app store here. Get on Android here. Get desktop here.


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[The following is the full transcript of this episode of The Brendon Show. Please note that this episode, like all TBS episodes, features Brendon speaking extemporaneously–he is unscripted and unedited. Filmed in one take, The Brendon Show has become one of the most viewed unscripted, direct-to-camera self-help series in the history of YouTube. It has also been the #1 Podcast in all of iTunes and is regularly in the top podcasts in Self-Help and Health categories around the globe. Subscribe to the free motivational podcast on iTunes or Stitcher.)

The first big gate of personal development that I believe everybody goes through in their own journey to maturity, happiness, fulfillment, aliveness, connection with other ultimate life satisfaction hat first gate is awareness.

Now I know some of you already know this, but think about this. In any given moment, we can be aware of our feelings, of our environment, of how our emotions are affecting our minds, of our decision-making, of our surroundings, of God, of the universe, of connection to this very moment. In any given moment awareness can ebb and flow, can’t it? And sometimes in your life, I know some of you feel this way. You’re going so fast. There’s so much on your plate. You’re so busy at home and at work. Everything’s going 90 miles an hour and it’s like, it feels like you’re so torn from happiness or torn from the moment that you don’t feel connected. And that is when awareness is sort of out the door. And that’s why in the last decade, the topic of mindfulness, you know, went from sort of a subtle art to like a societal need.

1. Be Mindful Of Your Needs

And as all of the research has been showing in the mindfulness research of how that can make us feel more grateful, happy, appreciative, loving, connected and kind, and resilient. It’s become more and more clear that people get this, but

you don’t go through the gates of awareness all the time by choice. Sometimes it’s pushed upon you.

I know many of you have had that story, just like I have in the past where you weren’t ready for change, you might have been resistant to change. Does anyone have any family members, team members, people in your life who are resistant to change? It’s just like you’re around people like, why won’t my husband change? Or why won’t my child want to be better? Or why will my kid do better in high school or, well, it’s like we all know somebody who just doesn’t ever shift into that and what you need to know. I’m going to make you sort of a casual coach today or an influencer or a leader today. We’ll use all that under the term of influence today.

If you want to influence others, you have to understand they’re not going to start taking action to change until they’ve gone through the gate of awareness.

And sometimes that gate of awareness, you can inspire it. You can role model it. And sometimes life just has to happen for them. We all know people like that. It’s not a judgment.

Sometimes you can’t be responsible for everybody else in their lives. You’ve got to let life be their educator.

2. Don’t Take Responsibility For Other People’s Awareness

And I’ve said that in other, I’d say more obnoxious ways in the past I’ve said, “Hey, you can’t be responsible for the train wrecks and everybody else’s life.” But hopefully, as we all mature and become more conscious, we realize that everyone walks a tough path. And as we become more aware of the difficulties others face, we become more compassionate, more kind, more thoughtful.

But you and I both know where it begins, don’t we? It begins within. It begins with a consistent practice of gaining greater self-awareness, gaining greater self-awareness to our real thoughts, our real feelings, our real desires, our real needs. A real understanding about where we are in our lives.

I know friends who last year, for example, realized how incredibly unhealthy they were physically, and they finally said, “You know what? I got to get in shape. I got to eat better. I got to stop drinking so much. I’ve got to start taking better care of myself.” And they made major shifts. Why? Because maybe one day that moment of where to sit for them. They looked in the mirror and they’re like, Oh my gosh, I hate what I see. Or they finally accepted how they felt. Or they listened to that message in their brain that says, Hey, you can’t keep doing this, you’ve got to get healthier. There was always that moment of awareness. Something happened. There was a moment where it clicked. What was that for you and your personal development journey?

3. Reflect On Times You’ve Changed

If you think about the three biggest times of your life that you changed. Like those big what they often call in psychology, those inflection points or those critical incidents? What were the three times when this major shift happened in your life? I promise. There was a major gate to awareness opened up for you. Either it was an insight, an aha. Maybe you’re like Eckhart Tolle, you’re just laying in bed and all of a sudden you are, you know, awareness and presence enters your life. A new level of consciousness lands on. Wonderful. Maybe you had to go through something. It was a divorce. A business ending. You got fired. Somebody said, No, you got in a health challenge. An accident happened to me. As you know, an accident happened. I got in a car wreck and it was the ultimate perspective. Check it. At that point in my life, I thought I wanted to die at that point in my life. I’d been suicidal and depressed. At that point in my life, I didn’t see that my life could ever be abundant or happy or loving. I didn’t get it. And then that car accident, bam. And that was like a knock on the head literally that opened up my eyes and made me realize, “Oh, I don’t want to die, I want to live. I just don’t know how.”

4. Commit To Changing For The Better

And that was my awareness. It was. I want to live, I don’t know how, but I’ve got the second chance and I understand I want to live. I understand. I want to love. I understand I want to matter, but I don’t know how. And that began a lifelong journey in personal development and then psychology and then philosophy and neuroscience and then High Performance studies to try and understand how people change. Well, maybe as you’re listening to, what were those three big things for you, maybe it was a health thing, something happened with your family. Maybe that was when you went off to school or you had the birth of your first child or something happened and it shifted you into another level of awareness. I want to improve. I want to get better, I want to be healthier, I want to be happier. And if you haven’t had that yet, then let me knock on the door a little bit and say, Hey, this is a great time to gain some greater self-awareness without greater self-awareness. We aren’t resilient. We aren’t authentically confident. We aren’t vibrant. We aren’t healthy. We aren’t able to deal with all of the chaos without conforming to everybody else. The moment we lack self-awareness is when the impulse to conform to everybody else enters the moment. We lack self-awareness. We don’t know how to ask for what we need in an argument with our partner or spouse. The moment we lack self-awareness, we make a bad decision that we knew wasn’t right for us. It’s always the first thing. Awareness.