Develop Your Self-Worth

SUMMARY

  • “If people find a way to access their best self on a more continuous basis, just by reminding themselves of who they really are, they feel more confident and more purposeful and fulfilled.”
  • Searching to find the best version of yourself and the habits you need to adopt to implement that into your life each day? In this episode, discover practical ways to better show up as your best self and live a more fulfilling existence. 
  • “If you had to describe the best of who I am in three words, what would your three words be?”
  • Wouldn’t it be great to feel more in touch with your natural best each day? In this episode, implement ways to consistently remind yourself of who you are and who you want to be.
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INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES

FULL TRANSCRIPT

[The following is the full transcript of this episode of The Brendon Show. Please note that this episode, like all TBS episodes, features Brendon speaking extemporaneously–he is unscripted and unedited. Filmed in one take, The Brendon Show has become one of the most viewed unscripted, direct-to-camera self-help series in the history of YouTube. It has also been the #1 Podcast in all of iTunes and is regularly in the top podcasts in the Self-Help and Health categories around the globe. Subscribe to the free motivational podcast on iTunes or Stitcher.)

When people have clarity about their future and clarity about their purpose, it tends to come in different categories here, okay? So let me give you some of those categories.

First is yourself. I know that sounds like, “No duh, Brendon”, but this is yourself in terms of your identity. This is yourself in terms of who you are becoming and this is yourself in terms of your self-worth, okay? I’ll cover those three elements here in a second. Self in regards to your identity — Who am I? Self in terms of who you are becoming — Who do I believe I am meant to become? Or who do I desire to become? And lastly, self in terms of self-worth — Am I worthy?

These questions make you either feel connected as a purposeful being or they make you feel terrible. And so let’s explore them in terms of your identity. I always ask this in my seminars, if you’ve never done this work with me, it’s from one of my other books called The Charge, and the Charge being like the amp, as the battery pack, like, you know, the subtitle was Activating the Ten Human Drives That Make You Feel Alive.

1. Define The Best Of Who You Are

One of the things I started asking people to do in High Performance work was to share with me what are the three words that would define the best of who you are, today? Like if you had to describe yourself, like let’s say you went on speed dating and you sat down across from someone and the question was, “Share the three best parts of you using one word?”, describe that. Like, if I had to describe the best of who I am in three words, what would my three words be? What are your three words?

Like, what are your three words that that is the best of who you are or if you’re struggling with that?

The three words that would describe the best of who you want to be. I want to make sure that you have your three words, and I want your three words on a board. Or I want the three words on your mirror. Or I want the three words next to your computer. And every day you look at those three words.

2. Check In On Your Personal Goals

Today I’m going to be this at midday. Am I being this? At the end of the day, was I that we needed to develop a purposeful sense of being and remind ourselves of it Would you like a tool to do that? In GrowthDay, you can go to the plan section in the app and you can set reminders for yourself. So if you are a crazy person on GrowthDay like me, I go into the plan section. I’ll type my three words. I set a reminder and I have my three words go off in my GrowthDay notifications three times a day. And so I just I get a ping. I look at it, and I’m like, “Right okay. Be that Brendon.”

3. Remind Yourself Of What You Want

I always joke that one time I was about to get to go pitch an idea to somebody who I really admired. And right before I went into the meeting, my phone went off and I had set an alarm on my phone. This is before GrowthDay. I used to just set alarms on my phone. Now I just use growth day for reminders. But I said and it went off. And one of my words at the time was bold. 

And the truth was, I don’t think I was that bold, but I was trying to become bold. But it took a lot of courage to summon, like, boldness like taking a big action or asking for a big thing. It happened, right? This thing. The reminder went off right before I went to this meeting. And then in the meeting, people started talking about this big new idea. And usually, I would just kind of sit there and, you know, listen and take notes. And I heard them and I heard the enthusiasm, and I loved what they were talking about. And I literally put my hand on the table and kind of went “thump”. And I said, “Hey, I would love to quarterback that, what do you think?” Everybody kind of looked around the table. One person said, “You’d like to do that?, I said, “I would.” They said, “Go for it.” And I got like a dream project. 

If I hadn’t gotten that reminder to be bold right before the meeting, I don’t think I would have ever done that. And that became very critical in changing moment in my life in terms of my career. And so I share that with you because there’s a sense of purpose that comes into our life when we are being who we know we should be at our best levels. But just like you need a fulfillment habit, you need a reminder habit about yourself because who gets down on yourself? Some time?

4. Speak Positively To Yourself

Sometimes the words you say about yourself are terrible. Instead, what I want you to do is repeat those positive words. It might take some time — I didn’t even believe my three words for the first year I did this activity, but then I had the blessing of sitting down with Oprah on her porch in Maui. And it was like, I had just taught her and her team about change management. And we were doing this big program together about your next bold move. And I had taught about these three words. And so I asked Oprah what her three words were, and I’ll keep that private to her, but it was amazing to hear them. I’m like, “Yep, yep”,  because they were all totally true descriptions of who she was because she lived in integrity with that intention of who she wanted to be. It was just like so obvious. 

And so the beauty there is — as you develop yourself, as you choose your three words as an example, you choose your identity and you live into those words on a more consistent basis —  you’ll be more in touch with your natural and best being.

And from my work, I found if people find a way to access their best self on a more continuous basis, just by reminding themselves of who they really are, they feel more confident and more purposeful and fulfilled. It’s game-changing. 

Now, we also talked about the idea that your identity is about who you are and who you are becoming. So these three words are very profound. The best of who you are. Then I would love for you to think about this conversation about self-worth If you view yourself as a terrible or tragic or awful person, it’s super hard to feel purposeful in life. And sometimes the only thing that you got to do is pull away from the old labels and activate that more purposeful being each day That’s what I meant by taking those negative words off repeat. And sometimes you need therapy for that. Sometimes you need a coach for that. Sometimes you just need to start an affirmation practice to start reconditioning your brain towards the positive, towards who you really are and what you’re capable of. Because sometimes you discount yourself so much. But all you have to do, like the woman I shared with you, is allow yourself again. To step into a more purposeful state of being. It will change everything. And the good news is, it’s just a choice.