How to Conquer Your Fears

• “Fear is mostly poor management of your mind, and you must stop having fear as a frame. When you anticipate things are going to cause fear, you will not approach it and you will avoid it from now on.”
• Fear can often hold us back from pursuing our dreams, taking risks, or living our lives to the fullest. In this episode, Brendon explores the psychology of fear and its impact on our lives.
• “I am going to proceed now and see things in a positive light. In a confident light. In a faithful light.”
• If you’re looking for tips on how to conquer your fears in life, this episode is for you!
• Watch the video to get the full teaching!

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FULL TRANSCRIPT

[The following is the full transcript of this episode of Motivation With Brendon Burchard. Please note that this episode, like all episodes, features Brendon speaking extemporaneously–he is unscripted and unedited. Filmed in one take, Motivation With Brendon Burchard has become one of the most viewed unscripted, direct-to-camera self-help series in the history of YouTube. It has also been the #1 Podcast in all of iTunes and is regularly in the top podcasts in the Self-Help and Health categories around the globe. Subscribe to the free motivational podcast on iTunes or Stitcher.)

You can proceed in fear or in faith. You are a person and you are coming from one of the two. You are entering every situation from one of the two, every situation. I’m going to enter this situation in a place of faith, and I’m going to trust that it’s going to work out just as it needs to. Or I’m terrified. I don’t know how it’s going to go, and people don’t understand how binary that conversation is in your brain. And I’m just somebody I’m so proud of that a long time ago I said, “You know what? Fear is so much to me.” You know what fear is outside of physical threat. The physical threat is real. The physical threat is real. But outside of physical fear. The threat of safety. Right. Outside of physical fear.

1. Most Fear Is Poor Management Of the Mind

Most fear is just poor management of the mind.

Write it down. Most fear is just poor management of the mind. I am not you to lose this brain to see this in a positive, confident, faithful light. And soon as I can use this brain to see this and write this down in a positive, confident, faithful light. I do that to myself. Any time I feel worry your fear and trust me, I feel it. Emotions are automatic. They’re from the body. Often they’re impulsive and unregulated. They happen immediately. They’re in and often they’re out. Most research shows that emotion rises and it’s gone and dissipated within 2 minutes. But you feel it. So I feel it. And I don’t choose to hang on to it and grab it and hug it and claim it and say that to me. And some of you did that with fear. You got scared a few times in your life and you grabbed it and you held on to it too long and you integrate it and now it’s you and you say, I’m just afraid all the time. I am just afraid all the time.

2. Be Careful With Negative Language

Be careful of putting a negative statement after the word. I am. You put a negative statement after I am, you are building a negative personality. In spiritual texts, we would also say that you are also offending the divine. Because I am is how God claimed himself. I am that I am. So you say I am and you put something negative behind it that’s offending you and that is offending something bigger than you. At least that’s what spirituality people would say. And so I want you to be attentive to that. I’m just afraid. I’m an afraid person. I’m always afraid. No, you’re not. You’re managing this badly. Remember? There’s a difference between practices and personhood. I mean, you guys know, like, motivation manifesto, you know, we’ve given that to prisons all over the country, and I would love any of you could help us give it around the world. Thank you. Yeah. And I remember the first time I was in lockup, and I was, like, trying to work through this concept a little bit. And it was really hard because people take the identity that they’re terrible, right? I am this terrible person. No, no, no. You did something really bad, right? There’s a practice. There’s. There’s just like many of you, you’re like, I’m terrible in my relationships. No, you don’t have any practices, or skill sets of how to be great in relationships. I’m terrible at friendship. I have no friends. No. You have no friendship skills. Yet. It’s skill set. It’s practiced. Well, I think that we have to realize that this fear that we all think fear is a big thing. And I was going, Oh, no, no, really.

You just have to choose. Okay, I am going to proceed now and see this in a positive light. In a confident light. In a faithful light.

It’s kind of like that. It’s just the intention you have to set up to enter it and to trust the process and to flow with that a little bit more and to know nothing has to be perfectly architect did. It just has to be in motion. 

3. Progress Does Not Require Perfection

And when you realize the world and the universe works like that, it’s beautiful, right? It’s beautiful. There is nothing you see in nature that is perfectly architected. It’s just in motion and it’s happening and it’s growing. And when it’s growing, sometimes it’s ugly. You ever see a flower grow? It’s super ugly, right? Comes out. It looks like this in the ground, right? Sometimes the thing the bulbs are facing down, you’re like it’s squirreled up and around you like what’s going on. And also bam, it’s like a like, oh, wow, that’s amazing. It’s that ugly caterpillar in that beautiful butterfly. It’s a process. Nothing in the middle of the process looks that great. And so you just have to say, Oh, I’m going to go engage this process positively, confidently, with faith that it’ll turn out just as it needs to turn out. I would tell you that will give you a superpower. I will give you some images like how are you so relaxed. Brendon, I’m like, “Oh, I chose an identity that isn’t fear-based, that’s faith-based.”

And I, again, I’ll acknowledge in this room, not a lot of people in this room have religion. Not a lot of people in this room are of a spiritual, you know, background or upbringing or spirituality is not a high value for them, or they might not feel a connection to energy, the universe, divine God, whatever it is. So I get that I was I go, I know that’s a unique thing to me, but even when I’m saying Faith, you understand, I’m not saying faith in God, only what I’m saying. Faith, It’s trust that things will turn out well, that you have faith. You believe. You believe that it’s going to be okay.

4. Have Faith That Things Will Work Out

Could you imagine entering the day that way? Work with some guys? No. I had the blessing of looking at and working with a lot of monks. And a funny story was one time I was working with a very stressed monk, very stressed, and he’d been called to another level of service and I mean really high level of service, and was very stressed about the situation. And I was observing it and it was it’s this funny story, but what I noticed was you can have someone meditate and you can have somebody learn all the skills of life, but if they don’t enter the situation faithfully, all the breathing activities and all the meditation won’t do it. It’s a frame of reference for life. If you’re dominant frame is this is going to turn out just great. I’m going engage it right because notice what I’m teaching this. If you put that slide back up for me, you’ll notice where I’m teaching it. There’s a reason I’m teaching it here. If I know that things are building me up, if I know that I’m intentional, I’m on offense here, I’m going to approach the situation. I approach it faithfully. It’s going to turn out well. If I can do all these things. That’s why it looks so graceful. That’s why it looks like he’s gliding. It’s why it looks like she or he has no cares in the world. Oh, they do. They just didn’t freak themselves out in advance. Raise your hand if I’m saying. Okay.

5. Stop Freaking Yourself Out

So now you’re going to close your eyes one more time with me and you’re going to do the thing on the heart again. And you’re going to say to yourself, I am going to stop freaking myself out. I am going to stop freaking myself out. I am going to stop freaking myself out. Open your eyes. Remember, fear is mostly poor management of your mind, and you must stop having fear as a frame when you anticipate things are going to cause fear. When you fearfully see something you will not approach it, but you will avoid it. And as you fearfully see something, I’m so scared to get up on stage. No trust. When you get up there, you will serve two different things Fear, fear, fear, fear, fear. Back, back, back, back, back. And you wonder why did five years go by? And I’ve been so timid because you saw fear in advance. Not faith in advance, right? Those who are of spirit or of biblical training, you know it. He precedes you. Oh, that’s one of my favorite lines. I was like, Oh, he precedes me, right? I was like, Wait, wait. There’s goodness and planning in advance. Oh, let me walk right in that stream. That’s a lot easier than that. Oh, right. I was like, Oh, okay, there’s something precedes me. Okay. I like that idea. I don’t know. And even if you don’t like that idea, you know, from a biblical nature, think about that faith in that trust of the caterpillar, trusting in the process of nature, trusting in evolution that that when I go in and I hunker down and I trust in the process, I’m going to come out better. What an unbelievable act of faith to go from the wanderer to enclosing, trusting, and focusing so that I can bloom. That’s faith. That’s a big trust. I’m going to close myself. I’m going to go into my room. I’m going to write this book, not knowing what’s going to go on out there. I’m going to trust that this thing is going to come out because you imagine the faith. And then could you imagine? I hope you can.