SUMMARY

INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES

 

FULL TRANSCRIPT

[The following is the full transcript of this episode of The Brendon Show. Please note that this episode, like all TBS episodes, features Brendon speaking extemporaneously–he is unscripted and unedited. Filmed in one take, The Brendon Show has become one of the most viewed unscripted, direct-to-camera self-help series in the history of YouTube. It has also been the #1 Podcast in all of iTunes and is regularly in the top podcasts in Self-Help and Health categories around the globe. Subscribe to the free motivational podcast on iTunes or Stitcher.)

You want to know how you become unstoppable? You learn that the energy you have is not an accident. And you learn that the energy you have is even the way it works. I always use this metaphor,

“The power plant doesn’t have energy. It generates energy.”

Today I’d like to have a conversation with you about realigning and how do you do that? Because we want you to align with what is unstoppable of your nature or something beyond your nature. And when you do that, you’re carried to greatness versus grit and grind and fighting because there should be a freedom and a joy to life, anyone agree? Like real freedom and joy. We’re all looking for the same thing. We’re all looking for, as Glennon said, living a fully alive life. I talk about it in terms of the human drive of aliveness. We want that zest, that vibe, that pop, that energy that can be authentic and slow in deep, or high and excited, but there’s a freedom to it. That’s where we wanted to get you. How do we get it? Well, you all know that it all starts with mindset. You’ve heard everyone here talking about intentions. Every speaker in some way has talked about intentions, haven’t they? It’s like personal development 101 — your intentions, your intentions.

I got a crash course in it, literally, when I was a 19 year old kid. So that was 25 years ago this year. 25 years ago this year, my high school sweetheart I had, we thought we were going to get married. We went to college together. We didn’t make it through college together because in that first semester of school our relationship fell apart. She went outside the relationship and it broke my heart and I fell apart. Have you ever had your whole life intertwined with somebody else? Because at that point I wasn’t going to college. I went because she was going. I signed up for the same classes as she did. I signed up in the same dorm. You know, I hitched a U-Haul to the back of my 1988 Nissan Sentra. I welded it myself and it’s just a little U-Haul. I carried all our stuff over to college. I followed her all around and then the relationship fell apart. And so did I and I became depressed. And then ultimately a suicidal 19-year-old kid. I didn’t have the tools of personal development. I didn’t know as we casually talk about you having to get professional help, or coaching, or therapy sometimes when you can’t get over yourself. I didn’t know any of that. I was just a young man struggling. So I started planning to take my life.

Unrelated to that, a short while later I was in a car accident and that car accident taught me that I didn’t want to take my life. I wanted to live my life. My heart was broken, but I still wanted to love. I was a 19-year-old kid. I didn’t know the point of life. You know, I never sought service or tried to do something beyond myself. And I decided I want to do something. Because I remember at the end of the car accident, after this car rolled off the road and flipped several times, I was able to pull myself through the windshield of the car after it stopped. And I stood on this crumpled hood of this car with blood coming off of my body and onto my toes. And I thought it was the end for me. And I looked down and saw the blood go off the end of the hood of the car. I thought I was going to faint. And I remember just thinking, “Did I even matter? Was there a purpose to this life?” And I didn’t like the answer to that. Did I matter? I didn’t think I did. I didn’t know anything about that whole idea of service, or being a role model, or doing all the things we talked about in leadership. I was just the last kid who was brokenhearted. But I was standing there and I felt that life was draining from me. I saw a glint in my blood at the end of the hood of the car. And it made me look up and there was this bright, big beautiful moon that night of the car accident. And as I had felt my life draining out, when I looked up, I felt this connection. I felt like suddenly this knowing that I was going to be okay. And I felt like I got what I call “life’s golden ticket”. It was like the big guy upstairs had spared me in that little millisecond to keep me alive and handed me life’s golden ticket. It was like, you’re still here, you know. It’s like I got that ticket as if He had said, “Here you go son, you’re still alive, you can still love, you can still make a difference.” But now, you know, the clock is ticking. And I remember that moment on the hood of that car. And I got that feeling. That sense that I was still alive and I felt gratitude wash over my body. And I just thought I will earn this. I will earn the second chance. I will earn this breath. I will earn this life. And it was precious. 

Some of you have been there towards the end or you’ve been with family who you lost. A lot of us lost a lot of people in this last year. And you know how precious life is. And you know when you start becoming unstoppable or when you change, you know, when that happens?

1.Mortality Motivation 

The moment mortality motivation enters your veins.

You want to change your life? Realize it ends. You want to get back on track? Realize it ends. You want to change your relationships? Realize you only have so much time together. You want to repair your relationship with the kids? Realize there’s only so much time before they’re out and realize how precious life really is.

Because when you realize you only have so much time to live it, and feel it, and connect, and love, and do something meaningful you stop the seventh season on Netflix.

You have people counting on you. There is somebody who has been waiting for you to rise and go.

Somebody has been waiting for you. Maybe it’s inside. It’s your spirit. It’s your knowing, something inside of you. If you feel a rattle, or frustration, or hopelessness, or a fatigue of where you’ve been, don’t take that as a signal to stop, or to hate yourself, or to feel discouraged. Discouragement just means you gave up on learning. Discouragement just meant you thought you were supposed to be perfect when what you really had to do is get back in the game, and test, and try, and learn, and adapt a little bit more. Your discouragement and your frustration is a blessing from something saying, “You’ve got more in your kid, you’re not done yet.” There’s still more to live. If there’s still more for you in this life to enjoy, let’s get back in the game. I know it was tough. You align with mortality, you align with what I call the reverence for life. Philosophers talked about it throughout the centuries. The reverence for life. When you have reverence for life, you want to live it, right? Us humans, we’re driven by three primary drives, right? The drive for a liveliness, right? That enthusiasm, that joy, that good, positive emotion. That sense of appreciation for life itself. We’re driven by that need for connection, right — relationships. Even if that connection is with ourselves, our spirit, or our creator. And we’re driven by that desire for meaningful pursuits to do things we find meaningful, fulfilling, satisfying that make us live, right? We all want liveliness, and connection, and meaningful pursuits — but to get them, we’ve got to get out of our own way a little bit and realign with a higher intention for what life is. 

Here’s how I did it in a very simple way. My car accident taught me at the end of my life that I’m going to ask questions to evaluate whether or not I was happy with my life. My questions happened to be standing on the hood of that car and through that accident was, “Did I live, did I love, did I matter?” I was given a gift of knowing the questions I’m going to ask at the end of my life. And so for 25 years, every night I lay in bed and I ask my intention questions: “Did I live today? I could have done a little better, but no I did. Did I love today? I tried to live with full heart. Did I matter today? I tried.” 

And for the nights that I didn’t do great — that’s the beauty of the morning sun. That’s the beauty of that fresh page. That’s the beauty of tomorrow. Some of you forgot the beauty of tomorrow. You think it’s always going to be the same because we all have been in quarantine and I get it. I’m still cutting my own hair. You see this problem we have over here. Listen, we’re all trying to live. It’s hard.

It’s weird out there, but I want to let you know, don’t forget the beauty of tomorrow. Don’t forget every day you can adopt a new attitude. Don’t forget every day you can change. Don’t forget every day you can improve. Don’t forget every day you can grow. 

2. Don’t Forget The Beauty of Tomorrow

Every day is a good day to grow, that’s what we say at GrowthDay — “Every day’s a good day to grow.”

Begin maybe tonight, maybe right now. What are the questions you’re going to ask yourself at the end of your life? Maybe it’s, “Was I a good mom? Did I build my empire? Did I follow my heart? Did I take care of somebody? Did I serve that mission? Did  I honor my God?” What is it for you? You’re going to ask questions and I’m just here to tell you, if you haven’t thought through those questions at the end mortality motivation.

If you don’t think about how you’re going to evaluate your life at the end, there’s no hope to live each day intentionally and with purpose.

You’re just going through the motions, and there’s nothing worse for your performance than going through the motions over and over again, without intention each day and each night. 

Ask yourself the questions of your life each morning and each night just so you’re aware. “Am I on track? What do I need to summon of myself? How could I change?” Intention, mortality motivation. Who’s learned really the hard way in this last year how precious life is? Anyone who had your wits, who was just scared at some point this last year? It just freaked you out. The pandemic, the economy, the world, the politics, everything else like that fear.

That is real and I hope you don’t use fear to stop. I hope you use it as an encouragement to live. 

Oh God, what a blessed thing we have! 

People always say, “Brendon how are you so annoyingly happy all the time?” “For 20 years I’ve been watching videos of yours on the internet Brendon, how?” I’m like, “Because every day I’m like, ‘Wow, I got breath.’” 

One of my mentors, the late, great Wayne Dyer taught me that every day he got up in the morning, threw his legs over bed and when they touched the ground he closed his eyes and said, “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for one more day.” If you haven’t felt in your heart that gratitude that makes you cry for your life in this last year, please open your eyes. It is an amazing gift that you are here. I’m happy that you’re here. I could see your faces. Otherwise this would be just a big dark wall and I’d be talking to myself. It’s super awkward. I do that at home but it would be really awkward here with all these people. I just hope that you will find somewhere in your heart, a remembrance of the blessing of this day. 

“But Brendon, it’s hard!” They say, yes it is. So here’s what I say. Honor the struggle. 

3. Honor the Struggle

Write it down. Honor the struggle. You know who quits? The people who say it shouldn’t be there. “I shouldn’t have problems.” So what do we do? There’s two different people literally in how they approach things. One honors the struggle. One bemoans the struggle. Anyone ever live with or work with a complainer? Anyone? Okay, some of you are pointing to your spouse. That’s weird. Okay, I can’t see your faces. That’s super awkward. I saw you. Okay, that’s all right. So here’s what I want you to know, if you live like if it sucks, if it’s difficult that’s not an indication to stop again. That is a struggle that has been delivered uniquely to you to say, “Rise young woman, rise young man. Let us see what you are made of. Let us see how much you really want it.” That struggle was placed there to see if you will stay true to your nature, and your dream, or your creator, or your mission. That was placed there to see. Do you really care? Do you really want it? 

Because we have a lot of people who are casual about life. We have to say, “Is it real for me?” And you’ll know the good news is you don’t have to go on like, you know, a big trip to take a bunch of drugs and puke on the floor in the Amazons to be able to know something about yourself. You got to listen to your human nature again, that human nature, that part of you you know, you already know the things in your life that are wrong. Mortality motivation says, “Change them sooner than later.” Honoring the struggle says, “Face them with courage, face them.”

A lot of people say, “No, no, no. It’s easier to avoid struggle.” And what happens when you avoid struggle? You all know. See to me, avoidance is a great strategy for short-term comfort. Unfortunately, it is also a great strategy to guarantee long-term suffering. Avoidance gives you short-term ease and long-term suffering. If you have to have a difficult relationship talk tonight, have the talk. If you have to get real in the morning, and look in the mirror, and honor yourself, and high-five yourself and say yes but you still need to go to the gym, go exercise. There’s YouTube. You can get the dumbbells from Amazon and you can just do the thing in your house. On the yoga mat. You don’t have to have big fancy things. What you have to do is be in motion, right? 

How many of you realize so often a lot of our problems will be solved if we were more consistent? I’ve been teaching a long time, 25 years since my accident, 20 years since my first book, 15 years since jumping into what now we call the live coaching or the online training world. And here’s what I’ve learned. So often people have real greatness. People who are unstoppable, people who though failed to reach that full greatness. It wasn’t because they weren’t smart or they couldn’t do things. You know what happened? Sometimes they forgot the truth. That common sense is not always common practice. It’s the fundamentals. It’s the daily forward momentum to the things that matter to you, and to you, and to you, and to it’s unique to you. It’s unique to you. It’s unique to me, but do we have daily forward momentum? We just have to honor the struggle of that. And the good news is you don’t have to throw out everything. You have to choose just a few things. 

In our research study with high performers, we found out that high performers on average only spend 60% of their week working towards the like the major needle-moving projects. The other 40% they got kids, they got teams, they got administration, they got paperwork and email and crap to do. But 60% of their week, they were pushing the big things forward. When you’re willing to push the big things forward, even the days of struggle don’t feel as bad because you at least put in effort. Even if you only kick that little boulder, it moved something forward. That little momentum breaks you through, it’s so just magical of your energy. Stop bemoaning the struggle, expect the struggle and work through the struggle. Honor the struggle as a challenge of your character. Honor the struggle as something that is honing your weaponry, that is making you stronger instead of going, “Oh, this sucks,” and be like, “Oh, I can’t wait to see how I show up against that. And if I fail today, I will show up against that again tomorrow with a good attitude.” 

That’s my last big idea for you today. You want to know how you become unstoppable? You learn that the energy you have is not an accident. 

And you learn that the energy you have is even the way it works. I always use this metaphor. The power plant doesn’t have energy. It generates energy. The power plant doesn’t have energy. It generates energy. What does that mean? Well, what a power plant does is it draws energy from one resource and it transforms it to a higher utilization of energy. And then transmits it to the world. You have that same opportunity. You don’t have to wait for happiness to arrive one day.

You don’t have to wait for good energy to arrive one day. You can architect that into your mind and into your body. 

4. Bring the Joy!

You don’t have to hope one day to feel more joyous. You learn to bring the joy. You bring the joy, you bring the joy to the morning light. You bring the joy to your family. You bring the joy to the dinner table. You bring the joy to that team who sometimes doesn’t get you and you show up with a positive mindset every day. And they’re like, “Who is this person?” And you know what, when they call you annoying, or they call you inauthentic, or they call you too happy, or a stupid optimist or whatever, you take the joy that you’re part of a rare set of human beings who would spend their day like this, working on ourselves and growing. 

Because you know what? You want to get believers in your life? Get some momentum with a good attitude. And all of a sudden they start coming around. Then they’re like, “Oh wow, you’re different.!” And you’re like, “Yes, I am,” because you worked for it, because you knew life was short. You knew it was short. And you decided at some point in your life, “Hey, there’s only so much time. Let me show it with greater intention. Let me deal with these struggles just head on.” 

You can do this courageously and you decide to bring the joy because life is short. And like me, I hope you want to earn this life. Thank you all for having me here today. It’s beautiful to see your faces, thank you Jamie, for having me here today. I appreciate all of you. Thank you guys.