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All right let’s go, the five rules of life.
1. Have vision for your life.
Have a vision for who you want to become, the kind of person you want to become. What are the qualities of the type of person you want to feel and be like in your life? Also, vision for what is your dream? What’s your goal? What’s your desire? Where do you want to go? Where do you want your life to head? What will you find meaningful at the end of your life when you look back and you say, “Wow, I’ve lived my life. These were the things I found meaningful. These were the things I’m happy about. This was what I had pride in and having become this type of person. These were the types of relationships I created.”
Sitting down and thinking about what you want of life, what you want to contribute of life, what you want to experience of life and that doesn’t land on you. A lot of people would say, “Brendon, I just don’t have vision for myself.” Well, vision doesn’t land on you, it’s not like you walk outside out of your house one day and the piano of purpose falls on your head and suddenly everything is clear. Some people have that epiphany. Some people have that awakening, but for most of us, it requires diligence and work.
Sit down with a piece of paper and a pen and say, “What’s my vision for life? What do I want my life to be like? Where do I want to live? What kind of work do I want to contribute to the world? What kind of relationships do I want to build?”
That requires thought, brainstorming and if you don’t know the answers to that that’s okay, experience the world some more. Go sample different parts of the world, of your community or ask other people how they discovered what they wanted in life. Start this journey, become a seeker of what your vision will be and the vision will suddenly start to coalesce and you’ll figure these things out.
But, the primary components of vision are, who do you want to become, the type of person? For me, the type of person I want to become is…. and fill that out because that begins the vision for your life. It’s all about the type of person you want to become, and living each and every single day into that person, to become that person.
At some point in my life I thought, I want to become more present, because I wasn’t. I wasn’t able to get that awareness around me of other people, that awareness of my thoughts, feelings and emotions, to experience the full immensity and magic of he moment. I said, “I have the vision to become a present person.” I had to discipline myself to tune in and say, “What am I paying attention to right now? What am I feeling? What am I sensing? Am I in this moment? Am I here with this person or am I checked out and away?”
I really had to do that. It was a discipline to live into the vision of that type of person. It’s just an example and I hope you will develop your own vision for who you want to become.
2. Believe in your ability to figure things out.
Some people just can’t believe in themselves, their total self. I hope you can get there and believe in your total self. That should be a mission too. But a rule is believing in your ability to figure things out. It allows you to wade into any unknown territory, any uncertainty and say you know what, I don’t know what the hell is going on here, but I will figure it out.
That is a life belief we all must have: The ability to know that with enough time, energy, focus, resources even, that over a period of time we can develop the knowledge, skill, competency, mastery of any area that we must succeed in.
With enough time, dedication and effort we can do it and we must believe in our ability to figure things out.
When the worst of life’s storms hit you, to say, “You know what, this is terrible right now. This challenge is awful but I’ll figure my way out of it. It might not be easy; there will be hardship, struggle and frustration. Other people will be jerks, but I’ll figure my way out of it. I will learn through this. I will develop through this. I will grow through this. I will move through. There will be a better tomorrow. There will be something that I move and progress in my life towards this, even if it’s a slog or a struggle; honor that struggle.”
Be okay with that struggle, because you know in your heart and mind you will figure it out. You will figure it out and as you learn more from other people over a period of time, you’ll gain that confidence and guess what? As you figure things out you develop competency. You develop your knowledge, skill and ability, your talent and mastery of life and with competency comes confidence. You’ll have more confidence in your life. That will come from believing in yourself and your ability to figure it out, enough times that you got it.
3. The third rule of life is to have fun no matter what, chasing your dreams.
As you have that vision, you have that dream, you have that desire that you’re going to have fun on this journey, even when it sucks, even when it’s difficult, even when you’re dealing with someone you don’t like or a bad co-worker or a bad boss or a bad spouse or a bad child, whatever you got, whatever you’re dealing with, just say you know what, I’m going to bring the fun. I’m going to bring the joy into this situation proactively.
I’m not going to wait for something to happen that I can have fun. I’m going to bring the fun. I am the fun. I will show up in whatever way, whatever way you enjoy life, whatever way that fun, joy, zest and enthusiasm sparks for you. Make that happen. Bring that into the situation proactively.
I go into the tensest situations in my business now sometimes, where literally; major decisions are on my shoulders. Major leaders from fortune 500 companies, sometimes billionaire clients are literally like, “Brendon!” and they’re so tense. The stuff has hit the fan. The storm has landed. Everyone is freaking out and I’m going to be the guy that walks in with a positive buoyant focused attitude.
I’m going to be the one to bring the joy to that situation. I’m going to bring the light to that darkness, even though sometimes I feel overwhelmed by that darkness of doubt or delay or distraction in my life. I’m going to move that aside and show up, because I have this rule, no matter what I will have fun doing what I am doing, chasing my dreams and that’s allowed my life to have a very uncommon charge.
I just make that happen. It’s not a luck it’s a discipline, a discipline of having fun, a desire to have fun and bring that into every single situation of my life. I hope you’ll make that a rule of your life.
4. Be patient but persistent.
Be cool. Life might not be progressing as fast as it wants to be. Be cool that you’re not getting ahead as fast as you want to get ahead. Give yourself the patience and allowance to do a good job. It might take longer than you think it’s going to take. A lot of people beat themselves up because they’re in such a hurry.
I think some of the worst components and worst behaviors and vices of human kind comes from hurry, being in way too big of a hurry and wanting that immediate payoff, being entitled to have it right now without allowing that long journey of struggle.
I’m cool with the struggle. I honor the struggle. I know it’s going to be there. I’m patient. I know that my time, if I am disciplined and focused on doing the things that are good for me, for others, for my business, for my life, for you. If I’m focused, I know over a period of time with enough patience the success will come.
The joy will come. Do you know how long I did these videos before I ever made it a career? Do you know how many stages I spoke on and just sucked? I was allowing myself to learn.
To be a learner you have to have patience with yourself, but the critical element is that you have to be persistent. You, even as your patient you’re allowing time to take place as you’re putting these things in, you’re allowing the universe to align with your desires, your dreams and your focus. You are also not stopping.
You are persistent in your actions as well as you are patient. It’s that peaceful warrior that you are working towards. You are fighting. You are struggling to move towards it, but at the exact same time you’re cool.
You’re accepting that everything is as it needs to be right now and you are continually taking action.
That persistence of action and behavior is what gets you ahead. It has to be a rule of life if we’re going to have what we want, because we can’t just start something and stop it all the time, that’s just distraction.
We have to be persistent towards our dreams and patient with ourselves.
5. Love and respect others playing the same game.
We’re all in this game of life. We’re all doing the best that we can. Loving and respecting other people is critical not only to our happiness and connection with the people that we care for, it is critical to our destiny. It is critical to our legacy. It is critical to our legend. It is critical to our simple, everyday experience of the good parts of life.
To love other people is a rule for me. I take all this divine energy of love around me and I try and amplify and give it to people. That’s how I see myself, as a big ole vessel of good amplification and good vibes for human beings.
I think it’s critical that we respect other people. We tolerate that they have their own life. It’s just tolerance. It’s about allowing people to have their own voice, allowing people to have their own experience, allow them to follow their intuition. Let them follow their own rules and be okay with it. Let them follow their own life and be okay with it. Accepting, understanding, empathathizing, sympathetic, compassionate, kind to other people, that’s the zest of life.
It’s that great grand connection that ultimately makes us feel, as human beings, fulfilled: because we loved.
So love others on your journey. Make it a practice. Make it a discipline. Make it an area of mastery, where other people around you always feel like you’re so attentive to them that they feel adored and appreciated. They feel your affection and it’s real, authentic and genuine, and they’re like wow, this person is something.
Have that intention for other people. Care about them so much that they love to be around you, that you attract them and that you feel fulfilled in giving that very thing that birthed you: Love.