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- “If you want to reignite your life, don’t think it has to be this big, abrupt, sudden, crazy change. Those can be great, but if those aren’t well thought out, it becomes a train wreck and a midlife crisis versus an intentional new way of being.”
- How do you bring more JOY back into your life? In this episode, learn four practices to start NOW if you’ve been feeling stagnant and need more vibrancy in your life.
- “When we’re not present, we lose our perspective and become people who are always attached to the next moment or the previous moment. Instead, take notice of your breath and reconnect with the minute.”
- Watch the video to get the full training.
- If you need to revivify with more zest and vibrancy, follow these four practices to reignite your fire for life again!
- To start putting these four tips into practice, complete the worksheet for this training here.
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Three Transformational Events in My Life
Find What’s Necessary to Leave Your Comfort Zone for Good
Nurturing Great Relationships
[The following is the full transcript of this episode of The Brendon Show. Please note that this episode, like all TBS episodes, features Brendon speaking extemporaneously–he is unscripted and unedited. Filmed in one take, The Brendon Show has become one of the most viewed unscripted, direct-to-camera self-help series in the history of YouTube. It has also been the #1 Podcast in all of iTunes and is regularly in the top podcasts in Self-Help and Health categories around the globe. Subscribe to the free motivational podcast on iTunes or Stitcher.)
How do you reignite your life? If you’re ready for a big change, or you just want more vibrancy, more pop, more joy, and more energy into your life so that you can actually feel happy about life, how do you do it? Especially if you’ve been through a dark period of time and you’re like, “I really just want to turn back on.” Maybe you’re going through a breakup or a divorce, or you’ve started a new business, or maybe you’ve just recognized that the last six months have kind of sucked. Life has just not been good. It’s just been upsetting and you’re like, “I need something new, I need to revivify.” You’re in that place where you’re like, “I just need some new pop in my life, Brendon. How do I reignite?”
Well, some of you guys know I did a whole course on this with the Oprah Winfrey Network back in the day. I’ve been really thinking about it lately because so many people are saying, “I feel so much negativity. I want more positivity and joy in my life, but I also need a change.” Because a lot of people right now are in transition.
So how do you reignite your life? I have four big ideas. I call it the “Four P’s.”
The first way to reignite your life is to avoid enduring a midlife crisis and become a metaphor, okay? What I mean by this is that most people think, “Well, I must move. I got to move to a whole new location. I see Brendon, you moved to Puerto Rico, it’s great. I guess I need to move my life as well.” No, my life was already ignited, I didn’t have to move somewhere to find it. You don’t have to be in a new relationship, start a new career, or move to that new town to do the same either. Often when we want to reignite our life we look for these big things. We think, “I’ll feel good when I win the lottery. I’ll feel good when that perfect thing happens.” You’re waiting for that perfect thing to happen in order to feel good, and that makes you a novice in personal development. And I say that with all respect because we all do that at some point. I can recognize a time in my life when I was like, “Brendon, why didn’t you feel better at that stage of your life?” The answer is, because I wasn’t using my mind well.
And so, I learned that if you want to reignite your life, don’t think it has to be this big, abrupt, sudden, crazy change. Those can be great, but if those aren’t well thought out, it becomes a train wreck and a midlife crisis versus an intentional new way of being.
Because you reignite your life by creating an intentional new way of being. And that’s what these Four P’s are really going to be about. A new way of being for you. You don’t have to change your marriage or your career. I’m not saying those things might not need to change, but you can reignite your life by starting with these Four P’s.
The first “P” is presence. Learning to be more present in the moment, to be more mindful and appreciative of what you already have that you’ve been missing. So many people think that they need something new to make them feel good when I’m like, “Didn’t you see what your child just did? How cute was that?” Or, “Didn’t you just notice that you do have more abundance than 50% of the world? Didn’t you notice that today went by, no one shot at you, nobody tried to stab you? Didn’t you understand that today there was no crime in your house?” If these things are true for you, you’re lucky.
What happens is we lose our perspective, and we become people who are always attached to the next moment or the previous moment, and we’re not in the present.
And I’ve always found that when you can learn to be in the moment, and you can breathe and use your breath to engage in the moment, and you can notice the small things in this moment; you will always be happier. I will always notice things. I will always feel a sense of connection with life. The reason a lot of people are unhappy and they feel like they have to reignite it is because they become disconnected. They become disconnected with themselves. They become disconnected in their relationships. They become disconnected in their careers. And the only thing they’re connected to anymore is their phone, right?
I hope that you realize the ultimate way to reignite your life is to first have reverence for life.
And if you have reverence for life, you connect with the moment. You have fun with the moment. You dance with the moment. It’s all already here. You’re already alive. You already won the lottery of this crazy cosmo of billions of cells aligned perfectly to make you right now. It’s a choice, it’s a decision, it’s an intention, it’s a connection with the moment each day.
Stop going through the motions. Reconnect with the minute. Take notice of your breath. Take notice of what you’re paying attention to. Appreciate the small things.
Be present now because trust me, if you can’t learn to be present now where you don’t feel like life is going great, when it becomes great, you won’t notice that feeling either. Trust me. I’ve coached some of the highest level people in the world and I always find this to be true. They have everything, and they’re still not happy because they never trained themselves in the practice of presence.
2. People Engagement
The second “P” that I think is so critical is people engagement. If you want to reignite your life, the way to do that is in your current relationships. It’s with the people who you interact daily with, the people you already love, the people you already lead, the people you already work with. I want you to re-engage with them again. You might have become distracted and believed that you knew everything about them. But you really don’t know a lot about your wife, your husband, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, the people who you’re working with. They are infinitely complex.
But what you do is you shorthand them in your life. You take them for granted. Along the road, you stopped engaging deeply with them. And without depth in relationships, we’ll never feel like life has its pop. Life has its pop when you’re in a relationship with people, and it’s this deep and real and curious thing. You have to honor the mystery in other people enough that you ask them questions, that you explore what they think, what they feel, what they need, what they desire. That curiosity with other people lights you up. But you take them for granted because you’ve been around them so frequently. Yeah, you know your kids. Yeah, you know your husband. Yeah, you know your friends. But you really don’t. And once you accept that notion, it becomes a curious thing again. Reflect back on all of that vibrancy and the pop that you had at the beginning of your relationship with somebody. Remember those first couple weeks of dating? It was just like magic because you’re learning so much about the person. It’s because you were curious about them. You didn’t pretend you knew everything. But so many of us take our relationships for granted, and we’re missing the very thing right in front of us. Just like presence—it’s right in front of you. The people in your life are there to make your life come alive again. You forgot that they’re a tool for that. They’re a means, they’re an experience.
They are there with you and for you in your life to make life have pop. And don’t blame them if they’re not giving you that because that’s what we do. “Well, she’s just negative. She’s terrible. They don’t support me.” Yes, I understand, and that might be true. But if you haven’t fully tried to re-engage them and haven’t been present with them, don’t expect them to do it for you.
So first, take ownership. Ask, “Have I really poured myself into these relationships, getting to know these people and diving deep?” Think about when someone does move to a new town. Why is it so magical? New people—they can ask questions to get to know. Well, they had people at their house, too, but they forgot to do that.
I hope that makes sense. Re-engage the people around you. There is vibe and pop there. You just can’t even imagine.
Third P is not a sexy one, I’ve got to tell you. It’s planning.
The reason a lot of people want to reignite their life is because they’re frustrated with where they are. They’re not having the momentum behind them. They recognize they have unbelievable potential and they have not been activating it, and why? Because they have been leaving their growth, they have been leaving their momentum, they have been leaving their goals to randomness.
“Let’s just see what happens.” Everyday, see what happens, everyday, see what happens, everyday, see what happens. And if everyday is, “I guess I’ll just see what happens,” guess what the odds are? In a month, nothing happened. Two months, nothing happened again because the world is good at letting you sit on your laurels. The world is good at passing you by and not bringing new opportunities.
Yes, sometimes we’re lucky and new things come into our lives and it changes us. But often, we’ve got to architect that. We have to strategize it, we’ve got to structure it, and we’ve got to schedule it. You have to think about that. You have to take back the strategy, the structure and the scheduling for you to get ahead.
What does this mean? It means planning. It means I need to be able to show up in your house and you need to be able to open up your laptop or show me on a wall somewhere or on a piece of paper at the kitchen table: “Here is my plan, Brendon. Here’s what I’m excited to do.” Even if all that shows me is, “What’s my ideal day look like? I’m trying to work towards that everyday, Brendon.”
It doesn’t have to be your mission to go to Mars. It can just be, “Here’s what an ideal day would look like for me, and I’m going to hit it more often than not.” It’s just a plan. Without a plan, without knowing what your next month is about, we end up going month to month to month flailing about, and then, one day we’re going, “I’m kind of miserable and I don’t know why.”
I know why. Because you’re the same as you were five years ago, and we all have, within our heart and our soul, the growth imperative.
It’s in us by biology, evolution, God, whatever you want to call it.
We are meant to grow and to try to reach the rim of our full potential.
But that can’t be done without some planning. So think about it: what do you want next month? What does your ideal day look like? What are the big goals and projects you want to work towards? Bust them down, put them in the calendar, start building knowledge, skills, and the ability to be able to achieve those faster, and that’s getting you a little momentum. Because momentum makes life come back to full color. Got it?
4. Peaceful Progress
The other idea I think is really important as you’re striving is peaceful progress.
One reason that people want to reignite their life isn’t just because they didn’t get where they wanted to be. One reason, often, is because what they got, they can’t sustain it and they don’t want to do it that way anymore. They burned themselves out. They hustled themselves in the ground. They grind and grind and grind and they were in the grind philosophy, and they cheated their relationships, they cheated their health, they cheated their joy, they stole away their presence because the way they were striving was not present, but also was not peaceful.
You’ve got to meet life with peace.
Yes, there’s that warrior part of us. Yes, there’s that grind part of us. But if you ground yourself into exhaustion, that’s why you feel like you need to reignite. That’s why people love to go away to a week-long detox somewhere because they’re like, “I need to turn off the phone, I need to eat healthier, I need to workout, I need to take care of myself.”
Because self-care is part of the peaceful progress.
To take care of yourself as you are striving isn’t a luxury. It is a necessity for long-term performance.
As many of you guys know, I conducted the world’s largest study that has ever been done on high performers, which are essentially the top 15% of the most accomplished people in any field, any art, any endeavor. These top 15% people aren’t superhuman, but one thing they are doing is striving more satisfied. They are joyous on their journey. They are happy with the path. They’re not waiting for the destination or the outcome, and they’re not grinding themselves in the ground everyday with work. Rather, they’re peaceful. There’s a sense of centeredness to how they are proceeding through life.
Have you ever met somebody like that? They walk in the room and they’re just so grounded and centered and so peaceful, and you’re like, “Gosh, I wish I had some of that.” You’ve got to practice yourself into that.
For some of you who always feel stress, anxiety, frustration, nervousness, and are always hustling, please teach yourself to meditate. Simply close your eyes 20 minutes a day, five minutes a day, 10 minutes a day, and just release your thoughts and release the tension in your body.
If you need a training on that, just Google me on YouTube and type in, “Release Meditation Technique.” I have a whole other video just like this where I teach you how to meditate. Two million people have learned to meditate from me. I’m super honored by that.
It’s something simple that can give you a daily break from all the noise in your head that can steal away your presence, your connection with other people, and the motivation to pursue all that planning that you did. Because listen, you could do all those things, but if you’re completely hectic, freaked out, anxious, upset all the time and exhausted, there is no way.
You cannot reignite your life without managing your self-care better. And I know you know all of these things, but this is my invitation to you to explore: Have you forgotten your presence—the deep connection you have with people? Have you been planning and progressing?
You deserve to have a vibrant, joyous, connected, excellence-filled life. That’s what we always talk about in HPX. That’s my brand—the High Performance Experience. HPX. That’s what we all want. We all want that next level of experience. We all want to reignite and feel alive and have that fire inside, so try these four practices and see if they help you.
Comment down below, tell us what you think. Share this video. Build a community of people who are positive, who are enlightened, who are conscious, and who are excited about life because that will also help you reignite it all, my friends.