- “What most successful people want, that they don’t know what they want, is that they just want to feel the day again.”
- Life can sometimes feel monotonous or disconnected, but deep within us lies the desire for a vibrant and fulfilling existence. In this episode, Brendon explores practical strategies and mindset shifts to reignite your passion, purpose, and zest for life.
- “You’ve got to build into your day what’s going to make you come alive.”
- If you’re looking for tips on how to feel alive again, this episode is for you!
- Watch the video to get the full teaching!
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[The following is the full transcript of this episode of Motivation With Brendon Burchard. Please note that this episode, like all episodes, features Brendon speaking extemporaneously–he is unscripted and unedited. Filmed in one take, Motivation With Brendon Burchard has become one of the most viewed unscripted, direct-to-camera self-help series in the history of YouTube. It has also been the #1 Podcast in all of iTunes and is regularly in the top podcasts in the Self-Help and Health categories around the globe. Subscribe to the free motivational podcast on iTunes or Stitcher.)
Here’s what everyone wants after they have, let’s just say, some sustenance or safety. Let’s just. Can we assume those two things? Right? You have a house or a place to stay and you have some food. Let’s just start with that. But what we want is human beings. We want to see human beings after those things. The first thing we want is aliveness. And you heard this message throughout the day. It’s why I had Ed talk about it today, especially the story of his father. That and I shared a phrase with you. I’d love for you to write down and really get in your bones.
What most successful people want that they don’t know that they want, is they just want to feel the day again. They want to feel that aliveness.
You might use different words. Okay, so let’s walk out some of these words. Okay. You maybe you say what I want, Brendon. I want vibrancy. Right. That we’re down. What does aliveness mean? Some people say, Brendon, I want passion. Some people say I want enthusiasm. I want excitement. Some people say I want energized health. What is it for you? But aliveness. There’s something there. It’s. It’s a mindset. It’s a physical thing. It’s a spiritual thing. You all know it. Sometimes you have too much caffeine and you’re just flying in flow and you feel great and then you crash later on. You know, I’m talking about. Right. But aliveness, when you have it. It’s like what Ed was talking about when you’re on that roller coaster and you’re going up and you’re excited at the top about the fall before you get scared that like, whoa, you know that little pop? That’s what I’m talking about the pop. Everyone says the pop. You want the pop. You want that. You won’t like to pop a little bit. You know, when it’s too boring for too long. Now you get into those stories that they call it. Well, that’s the midlife crisis he’s having. No, he feels bored. Well, what’s wrong with him? He had everything. He had all success. He had a woman who loved him. He had kids. He had a good job. He had a good career. He must have had a midlife crisis. He didn’t have a crisis. There was no crisis. We think it’s a crisis, no.
1. Be Wary Of Boredom Taking Hold
It was a slow burn to boredom. It was slow. If you don’t call it boredom, that’s okay. It was a slow burn to disconnection. And if you’re not bored. Notice the other language I use. Detached. Detached means you don’t feel the day. You don’t feel the connection with the other, with the partner or the spouse. You don’t feel the energy or the emotion. You’re just kind of like you’re. You might be high performing, but you’re detached from it. You’re distant from it. Then we understand one thing. It’s like you’re going through the motions, but you’re not there. There’s a lack of presence or vibrancy or pop in the moment. There’s an aliveness. So some people, they say, I can’t feel it. And so they seek aliveness through addiction, through alcohol, through drugs, through some type of thing that makes them feel alive again. For some of them, it’s an adventure. They’ve got to jump off that cliff or ride those roller coasters. They need something to bring back life to them. And many people, because they don’t have any personal development practices or spiritual practices do that. What they do is they seek it out through things that are ultimately destructive. I want you to all be really where if you are a hard-driving, assertive, aggressive, driven person, you need to pay attention when boredom or disconnection comes into your life. Because when those happen for too long, that energy gets pent up and it keeps building and you don’t even know and like a pipe, you’re going to burst and they’re going to say you went crazy, but it’s a slow burn to that moment. And then bam, you don’t even know it. And you do something irresponsible. You cheat. You cut a corner. You make that cheap deal. You knew you should have sold there. You make a bad decision because you’re bored or disconnected. This helps helpful anybody. I’m telling you, it explains so much in human behavior. And what you didn’t know is you were just after aliveness, but you didn’t know that’s what it was called. You didn’t know that. And a lot of people, especially guys like where I was raised, never learned emotional vitality. You know, I grew up in a place I don’t know about you all.
2. Emotioinal Vitality
Did anyone grow up in a place where you didn’t have a lot of, like, emotional intelligence and expression? Anyone I was told a joke like I grew up in a place where most dudes were like this. That’s happy. And when they talk, they talk to you like this. Straight at you. Talk to you, huh? Yeah, right. And if they raise this hand, if this hand comes above the belt, it means you’re about to get smacked in the face, right? No. I mean, no. I mean, if that hand came up, you’re getting punched where I grew up. Grew up fighting my whole life, so I have to. Blackfellas had learned how to take care of myself like I was. Grew up in a really tough place. But that’s what happens. Many people grow up and they don’t have emotional expression around them. And if they don’t learn how to do it, then they get bored and they don’t feel aliveness. This there’s no adventure or pop. Vibrancy, presence, enthusiasm. You call it whatever you want. Passion. I don’t care what you call it. If that is absent, that person who doesn’t know how to express themselves emotionally through that builds up too long. Then they move. Bam, cheap, bam, steal, bam, bad deal. And it was like that came out of nowhere. I mean, I can’t believe he did that. She did that. I can’t believe it. I can’t believe it. They didn’t know how important it was to build aliveness in along the way. Do you know if you build an aliveness in your marriage, in your relationship, on a consistent basis, as a practice, as you don’t cheat as much as I’m talking about the research, not you specifically? Those who have personal devotion practices in committed relationships cheat less. Is that a better way to say it for you? Oh, so think about it. It’s like. But do you think it has to be some big vacation or something? No, no, no. You got to build that stuff in on the daily. You got to access something that makes you feel like this is what I’ll tell you the most successful people in the world I work with, they think they bring me in for one reason.
3. Build Aliveness Into Your Life
Oh, you don’t feel life anymore. And they’re like, Yeah, that’s it, man. Yeah. Wow. That just gives you the answers in advance. The answer in advance is you want aliveness.
So you got to build that in what’s going to make you come alive.
I want you to write that down right now and throughout this weekend. What’s going to make you feel like that sense of aliveness, that sense of pop, adventure, passion, hobby, time, break, hanging around a higher level, people getting around the energy you’re experiencing here because who’s having a good time? That growth day, Ladies and gentlemen, Aliveness, What’s the word? Oh, you don’t know how bad you need that until you date somebody dead. You know, I’m saying you ever go on a date with someone and you’re like. Like afterwards I was like, how was he or she or they or whatever. And you’re like Man, it was the worst. They were so boring. They were like, dead end and friends like that bad. And you’re like, Oh, it was awful. And a lot of the world is there right now because they’re in resentment. And sometimes people in the back of the cage look really bored, but they’re not. They’re resentful and bitter and they feel alone. And so we’ve got to bring them back and we got to rattle a little bit and we got to get around a different quality of people. We got to put them on a different chessboard. We got to get around people like this, like the person to your left, right. He’s got a little pop, a little energy. And when you’re around the right people and your community is like that, you’re like, Oh, there’s like, how are you so energized right now?
4. Surround Yourself With Good People
I’m like, I don’t have any jerks around me. The people around me, they got good energy. The people around me are like you and you and you and you guys. I got so much joy. Like, how do you have so much joy? I’m like, I’m around joyful people. Hi, how are you? So hot performing? I’m like, I like high performing people. I gather them. We get in groups, we hang out, we do this kind of stuff, this kind of energy. Some people will make fun of this kind of energy. I’m like, Go hang out with the opposite. Then tell me what that’s like. Because that’s not what we’re after. We’re after what’s this word? What are your practices? They feel it every day. Every day. You got to find it in the simplest of things. Everything you do can be improved by putting practice in for aliveness.