- “When you have more practices in your life, you’re on the offense.”
- In this episode, Brendon dives into the principles of effective teamwork, leadership, and communication that can transform your interactions with others.
- “Successful people, they’ve got better practices to make themselves feel alive. They got better practices for handling conflict and relationships. They’ve got better practices for finding meaning and fulfillment. Even as they’re pushing hard, they’ve got better practices to develop skill and competency and growth.”
- If you’re looking for tips on how to better understand the power of people and best practices, this episode is for you!
- Watch the video to get the full teaching!
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[The following is the full transcript of this episode of Motivation With Brendon Burchard. Please note that this episode, like all episodes, features Brendon speaking extemporaneously–he is unscripted and unedited. Filmed in one take, Motivation With Brendon Burchard has become one of the most viewed unscripted, direct-to-camera self-help series in the history of YouTube. It has also been the #1 Podcast in all of iTunes and is regularly in the top podcasts in the Self-Help and Health categories around the globe. Subscribe to the free motivational podcast on iTunes or Stitcher.)
Practices. Sometimes we just got to look. We just got to look at your practices. We gotta look at your practices. What are your practices in your marriage? When do you get to work? How do you work the day? How do you manage your schedule? Like, what’s your process? Like my friend Natalie, I think she’s in the back. She co-founded BossBabe. Yeah. Yeah. She’s like the home for ambitious women. She’s so unbelievable. I mean, literally, she totally gets this, right? She totally gets it, she’s home for ambitious women, and she has this thing. It’s a whole operating system for her life. And it is so detailed and amazing. And I was like, “Yeah, okay, whatever.” And I watched them like, “Dang, her practices are at another level”.
1. Live Life On Offense, Not Defense
Most people don’t have any practices because they’re reacting all day. They’re in defense.
When you have more practices in your life, you’re on the offense.
You are structuring your life better, and sometimes you just need a coach to sit down with you. You need them to look at your calendar. You just have to walk through the day with you. Many of you have experiences before you got a professional executive assistant or professional organizer and you thought, “Oh yeah, and I know some of you, I know some of you.” You thought you did pretty good in your house one day and then you turn on HGTV and you saw how those professional organizers do a closet and you’re like, “Oh, I don’t know anything because their practices are another level.” Do you know what I’m talking about? Yeah, I remember my wife and I did that. We did our we did a fancy closet. We thought it was a pretty fancy closet. And then one time I come in and she got the popcorn, the wine, she’s watching this thing. She’s like people who are professionals do a closet. And you think there’s only one way to do it? Oh, no. Let me tell you what — Well, I’m telling you, another level, the same thing in success.
Successful people, they’ve got better practices to make themselves feel alive. They got better practices for handling conflict and relationships. They’ve got better practices for finding meaning and fulfillment. Even as they’re pushing hard, they’ve got better practices to develop skill and competency and growth.
2. Learn From Those With Better Practices
You’ve got to find them, get in groups with them, mentor them, take their classes, read their books, listen to their podcasts. Who geeks out on this kind of stuff? I love this stuff. I’m always on the hunt for those better practices. And I do all those things. I invest. I go to the courses I get involved in, like how I meet so many people. It’s like I’m always trying to figure out what is that better level of practice. Not because I’m unsatisfied, but because I just want to live life to the fullest. Anybody else? I just want to live life to the fullest. I want to live life to the fullest with the people around me. And that is where this last piece comes in.
The people who you are around, what we called earlier, your peers. And I make sure I underline peers — this is your environment. These are the people who you surround yourself with. This is the energy you are putting yourself in over and over and over in your life with your mentor, with your group. Because even just two days together, I want you honest. I want you to be honest. Did anyone here have in two days, just two days together in this group, or did anyone in this large group in a two-day period have a life-shifting insight? If you had a life-shifting insight in two days, let’s go grow day in two days. Yeah. Oh, that’s the clap you give for a life-shifting insight. And two days. Have a seat. Congratulations.
3. Surround Yourself With High-Value Peers
A life-shifting insight. And here’s what I would encourage if in two days you did not have a life-shifting insight either. You’re just one of the people. Like, I’m not standing up and participating anymore. The dude already made me hug people. I said I’d hug four. I’m up to ten. What the. Seriously, dude? Or you’re tired or your knee hurts. Or you haven’t been in a learning environment for so long that you find your own life. Shifting insights. So I never go to a conference or a seminar or a meetup or a group expecting the stage to give it to me. I’m going to find a life-shifting insight every day. Why do I read every morning for 30 or 40 minutes? Because I’m going to find something in life. Shifting can be as simple as the simplest things.
4. Strive For Self-Improvement Every Day
John Gray wrote a book called Men Are From Mars, Women Are from Venus, and he taught me this. He said, “Brendon, when you come home from your trips when you’re traveling, when you’re out to work and you come home, if Denise is at the house, because she does those things, too. But if she’s at the house first and you come in, what I want you to do, I want you to wear a watch. I wear a watch as I don’t usually wear watches. Why? Why do you want me to wear a watch? Because what I want you to do is I want you to come into the house. If we’re coming house, put yourself in a good place. When you come in and you get in there, I want you to glance down at your watch. Don’t let her see you. Look at the watch. All right, man? Okay?. And then all I want to do is let her talk to you for 20 minutes. Now, be very careful. Don’t do that. But I want you to be aware of the time, and I want you to let her talk to you for 20 minutes. That’s your job, Brendon. Let her talk for 20 minutes. You shut up. You listen. You’re allowed to say three key phrases to her, but that’s it. That’s all you’re allowed to do. Three key phrases. 20 minutes. That’s the job.” I’m like, “What are you talking about?”, he goes, “You’re allowed to say, ‘Tell me more about that.’ You’re allowed to say, ‘That’s so hard. That’s so frustrating.’ You’re allowed to say, ‘I’ll support you. We’re in this together.’ That’s it. 20 minutes.” He goes, “You know what’s going to happen to you in 20 minutes, Brendon?” I go where she goes, She’s going to run out of gas. She’ll have said it to you. She got to express that you were present, you listened, you held space for her, and said, You coming home asking, requesting, doing something, putting everything.
5. Hold Space For Those Important To You
She’s the priority. She’s the number one priority. You come home, she’s your priority. You’re there with her in a loving stance. And you just allow you just receive. You don’t have to change it. You don’t have to fix it. You don’t have to accept it. You don’t have to agree with it. You have to take it on. But you don’t get to rebut. You don’t get to ask. You didn’t get to push. You just take it for 20 minutes because you are able to take it for 20 minutes are you giving for 20 minutes. “
Now, some of you say that’s a life-changing insight. Some of you will not. To me, that was life-changing. Now, whether I do it, whether it’s the 20 minutes or not, I know most people in their personal relationships don’t give that kind of presence. They just don’t. They don’t. So that was life-changing. That was life-affirming. Sometimes it’s common sense. Be present with somebody for a little while. Let them talk. But we don’t do it, do we? So sometimes it’s right in front of you. Common sense is not as common practice, but if you’re not with the mentors who say those things to you, that’s a higher level of practice. The reason I got to hear that from him was because we were in a group together, we’re in a group together, he says, Oh, you’re married. How’s that going? I’m like, It’s going pretty well. I can’t believe it. He’s like, Oh, tell me about some of your marital practices. I was like, “Oh, well, we like going date nights and a vacation and I love her.” And he’s like, he’s like, okay, young man. And he just dropped about 20 of those life-changing insights because I was in a group because he had practiced. Who follows us? Yeah, that’s why I got to be here. I’m here because of those groups and those practices, and I would love for everybody in this group at some point to go through one of my groups or going through somebody else’s group or you just like, I got it. I understand it.