- “You’ve got to celebrate the days that you are capable, when you do something good. Go, ‘Good job!’ and pat yourself on the back a little bit. You have to integrate the win into your identity.”
- Do you know the difference between capability and competence? In this episode, learn how to put your skills and talents to intentional use each day to reach your goals.
- “Capability is self-trust to take action.”
- It’s time we all start integrating our wins into our identity! If you are striving to start celebrating your success and win more days, then this episode is for you.
- Watch the video to get the full training.
- Already have the High Performance Planner and CRUSHING each and every day? Let’s celebrate you! Take a photo with your planner and use #GrowthDay so we can find you on social media!
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[The following is the full transcript of this episode of The Brendon Show. Please note that this episode, like all TBS episodes, features Brendon speaking extemporaneously–he is unscripted and unedited. Filmed in one take, The Brendon Show has become one of the most viewed unscripted, direct-to-camera self-help series in the history of YouTube. It has also been the #1 Podcast in all of iTunes and is regularly in the top podcasts in Self-Help and Health categories around the globe. Subscribe to the free motivational podcast on iTunes or Stitcher.)
Here’s the thing, you got to celebrate the days that you are capable and when you do something good. Go, “Good job!” and pat yourself on the back a little bit.
You have to integrate the win into your identity.
If you took all of your strengths and all your good days and all the wonderful things you have done in your life and you really sat with them for a minute and you let that integrate into the identity of who you were — you would feel an internal goodness. And see, when you integrate the good of what you’re doing in life, you feel good.
Capability is: you can do it. You can do it every time, it is like a strength, if you will. It is something that you are highly capable of. You are at another level of skill that shows up every single time. But here is the truth — capability is as much as the mindset as it is a competence.
Let me give you an example. A lot of extremely smart people who can handle the problem, don’t handle the problem because they don’t feel capable. It’s like, “Yeah, I know it, but I don’t do it.” How many of you know someone who’s very competent, has great skills, but lacks the capability to execute? The capability is something, you know,
capability is self-trust to take action.
It’s not just that I know how to take the action, it’s that I’m an action-taker. I’m going to show up. I’m capable of handling this. I will do this. I trust in myself to handle this, to execute, to execute again and again and again and again and again.
1.Prioritize Important Things First
That’s capability and I really want you to develop that in your heart and in your soul by checking off the simplest of things each day. Make a list of three things to do. If you wrote down your three top priorities for the day, do those first. Before you do your social media, before you reply to everyone’s DM’s in your inbox, you know, voice message texts. It’s like, listen, I have so many people who would spend all day just checking their email, replying to everybody else. Now that’s fine if that’s your job, that’s customer service. Do that. That’s your job. But if you’re an entrepreneur, as an example, or you have a whole list of other priorities and you’re just checking into other people’s agendas all day to meet all their obligations, and you keep missing your key priorities day after day after day after day, your brain doesn’t feel like you’re capable anymore. Even though you might be smart. You’re competent, but your brain doesn’t believe you’re capable. You know what I mean?
It’s so important to understand this. I know if you’re a parent, you understand this difference. Lots of kids can learn things and have skills and abilities. But if they don’t put them to use and apply them, they don’t sense that feeling of capability. And now your smart child, your child full of strength, talent, and ability doesn’t run on the field, doesn’t take the action. That child doesn’t finish the test, doesn’t go for it. They don’t feel capable.
2.Have A Pattern Of Action-Taking
Why don’t they feel capable? They don’t have a pattern of taking action.
You’ve got to develop the pattern of taking the action. Better yet, the pattern of taking the action to complete the key priorities.
So all I want you to do as a daily, simple habit — every morning we do it in The High Performance Planner. I write down my key priorities for the day. Do those first. Get those out of the way. Make that happen, maybe that’s your morning. For me, I didn’t feel capable in my career for a long time because I was replying to everybody. But then I did a simple thing. I said, “You know what? No phone calls until 1:00 p.m. in the afternoon.” That leaves the morning to do the most important work. Because I do the most important work, almost every morning of my life, I feel incredibly capable. Give me a task that gives me that log is happening in the brain. Good job today. Good job today. Good job today. Good job. That consistency, that congruence develops the capability. Now, I feel capable and I am capable because I executed because I developed this skill. Y’all follow? This is so important. This is so important. This capability piece.
And the best part is when you get some capability, if you’ll do what we talked about earlier, self reflection, you’ll start to go, “Look at what I did there.” If you do what we’ve always taught, which is you have to integrate the wins. When you do something, take a moment and go, “I did that.”
You know, yesterday, here’s how simple this is. Yesterday, after months of thinking, strategizing and planning, I created this presentation and I sent the email and it took me about two hours to pull this off, but I just decided, you know what? This has been on my big dream list for a while. I’m going to make this picture. It’s a pitch. And so I said, “OK, I’m going to get it done.” And I finally sent it. And I’ll tell you what, I walked out in the other room and Denise was like, “what’s up with you?”. I was just feeling so good. I said, “We’re going to have a nice glass of wine with dinner tonight to celebrate.” I did this one thing. It was sending an email. But I was somebody like, I’ll have a glass of wine every time I send an email. Yes, sir. Thank you.
3.Celebrate The Days You Are Capable
But here’s the thing,
you’ve got to celebrate the days that you are capable, when you do something good. Go, “Good job!” and pat yourself on the back a little bit. You have to integrate the win into your identity.
If you took all of your strengths and all your good days and all the wonderful things you have done in your life, and you really sat with them for a minute. You let them come in. You let them mentally stack where you just thought of that time, you finish that big project, you launch that thing. You got the negotiation. You won the award. You handled that tough situation at the park with the kids well. You didn’t get brought into their drama. You just took some time for yourself, and you let that integrate into the identity of who you were.
4.Integrate Your Internal Goodness
You would feel an internal goodness.
And see, when you integrate the good of what you’re doing in life, you feel good. And, I don’t mean that like with hyperbole, I mean, you sense goodness again. I sense that I’m good.
Because one, in my opinion, I’m lucky to be here. My clarity says if you are alive, have reverence for life. You’re a child of God, what a gift. You’re so lucky, you’re blessed to be here. So for me, I feel capable as a person, I feel I’ve been given gifts and strengths. Yeah, I had to develop a lot of them, just like you did. But because I trust that I was given those gifts or those strengths or this life, I feel capable. I feel like, have you ever heard that thing, “You can do all things through Christ which strengthens you.” Have you ever heard about that? It’s like, “Oh, yeah, I’m capable because I’ve got someone watching over me.” My dad’s up there. My creater’s up there. Grandma is up there. I feel good. I feel good. I feel capable because, you know, I’ve done some good things. OK. You let that come in. You let that goodness come in.
Some of you haven’t let your goodness shine for a while. Your vibrancy, your joy. That sense of soul or spirit or flow or femininity or masculinity, that part of you is just like this, because why hasn’t it gone out like that? Because you haven’t brought it in and stored it up.
See, all you’ve done is deplete yourself for other people without those moments of self reflection about the goodness that you’re doing for other people. About the goodness you’re doing for the world, about the virtues and the values you stand for. You haven’t let that stuff come in and sit and sit like it forms into the cement of the foundation of your character.
And so you wonder why it doesn’t emanate? Why doesn’t goodness come out? Because you haven’t sat with the goodness that’s already within. Why doesn’t the goodness spread out, because we haven’t sat with the goodness started there.
If you knew half of how good of a human you are, the choices that you’ve made, maybe even on something like this! To raise your hand for personal development, to want to learn from other people. I celebrate that. I raise my hand to learn. When I go to a seminar or buy a course, I pat myself on the back for a good job. “You’re learning, kid. You’re not done yet.” And I feel good about myself.
As a learner, I think learners tend to be more confident than people who think they know everything because people who think they know everything are terrified that their worldview might break. Learners adapt. I’ll figure it out right now that like that adaptation mentality, that learning mentality gives me confidence. I believe in my ability to figure things out.