How to Find Your Purpose


  • “We forget that the whole universe is expanding. That our life is growing and flowering in front of us. And let’s be curious about that blooming. Let’s be excited to see where it goes even when it’s in difficulty.”
  • In the midst of struggle, how do you find your purpose? Learn the 4 ways to reconnect with a higher power, meaning, and mission so you can feel good again, no matter what!
  • “The darkness opens to light as we open up the door again versus closing our heart.”
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[The following is the full transcript of this episode of The Brendon Show. Please note that this episode, like all TBS episodes, features Brendon speaking extemporaneously–he is unscripted and unedited. Filmed in one take, The Brendon Show has become one of the most viewed unscripted, direct-to-camera self-help series in the history of YouTube. It has also been the #1 Podcast in all of iTunes and is regularly in the top podcasts in Self-Help and Health categories around the globe. Subscribe to the free motivational podcast on iTunes or Stitcher.)

Part of the problem is they believe that there’s going to be one singular “wow” purpose for them and not realize our purposes change throughout our lives as we all teach, that your purpose and your mission, your sense of fulfillment and meaning shifts at different times of your life. It was different when you were a teenager than when you’re a mom or parent, than when you’re a leader or a business owner. It just changes.

1. Purpose is Not a Destination

But purpose is not a destination. Purpose is a flowering. What do I mean by that? As we’re going through our lives we’re going to have a lot of metamorphoses. But there’s that moment, those moments where we grow into something else, where we bloom from a situation even if it’s darkened soil, where we open up to a different style, approach, awareness, consciousness, where we open up our personality, where we open up our beliefs. And these are transformative moments in our lifetime, right? And what I mean by purpose is a flowering is, you might be stuck right now and not realize that you being stuck is the gateway to the next level of your life.

People who lack resilience bemoan the moment and they get stuck here and frustrated that they’re stuck here and they don’t understand their life is expanding. Even if right now my finances are stuck, even if right now the kids don’t like me, well, they’re two, give them time. Or they’re 18, give them a few years.

2. Recognize Your Expanding Possibilities

We get so narrowly focused now that we lose the connection that life is expanding. You know, this last year I’ve been telling all my audiences and my high-end clients, “Listen, last year was very, and really like the last two years, was a sensation of constriction. We felt shut down. We felt we had to go into protection mode.” And some people are still living there.

And we forget that the whole universe is expanding. That our life is growing and flowering in front of us. And let’s be curious about that blooming. Let’s be excited to see where it goes even when it’s in difficulty.

I had a major brain injury in 2011 and I didn’t know what my life was going to be like. And I had two or three days after my diagnosis. I knew the next two or three years was going to be really difficult with the traumatic brain injury and I was scared. I was writing a book. My career was going big. I had all these responsibilities and I was freaked out. I just remember laying in bed and I thought “Well, either this is a challenging moment that opens up your next level of being, Brendon, or this is a moment you quit. How are you going to look at it? Are you going to quit ’cause it’s hard or are you going to say ‘maybe this very challenge was placed before me to make me better one day. Maybe I can’t see that now. But maybe I’m supposed to grow into something more. I don’t know what it is, but I have faith in that process.’”

3. Embrace Challenge as an Opportunity for Growth

It’s the same old tired metaphor that I know you know but it is a beautiful metaphor from nature. When that caterpillar goes in that cocoon there’s that time of isolation, of darkness, of uncertainty of how things are going to turn out, of the difficulty of breaking free to that next level. But when that breaking free happens, it’s like another being emerges, right? Another spirit, right? That metamorphosis is transformational. And that caterpillar is this light dancing, ethereal gorgeous butterfly when before it was kind of this slimy little thing inching along which had its own beauty and challenges. But at some point, nature had the impulse to say, “Go within.”

Take a minute. Take a minute. Meditate, sit in stillness, and imagine what’s next.

4. Have Faith in Your Future

Because we don’t know when that cocoon will open out of our challenges or difficulties. But if we are faithfully aware during those times, if we are faithful to this idea that our purpose, our future is flowering, that we will emerge lighter, better, if we have that trust in nature, in time, in God, in universe, in cosmos, in expansion, whatever your vibe is, when you can reconnect to that, you can get through the difficult moments.

Because recognizing that life has challenge, struggle, suffering, difficulty, that’s how I began this talk. We have to be aware of that. We have to acknowledge that. We have to be okay with that. And once we can say, “Yeah, sometimes life super sucks, it does.” Guess what? That hurt, that pain, that struggle, that’s an indicator light of now. That’s not the roads ahead. I’m not going to drive my life because of that. It’s that idea of like, well, let me look at it, let me talk about it, let me express about it, let me journal about it. Let’s shed some light on this difficulty here because monsters fade with more light.

The darkness opens to light as we open up the door again versus closing our heart.

Oh right, you know what? I got to take care of my body and release some of this tension so that when that challenging moment comes up, I feel ready and loose and I’m not carrying all this hurt, pain and stress.

And we have to notice that we are blooming now, even when it’s difficult, even when it’s the hardest time, even when we don’t feel good.

People always ask, how did you pull through that brain injury? I’m like, well, I just decided that I must. And I decided that that challenge was given to me to make me better. I didn’t know if I would get better ever at that moment. I didn’t know, would my brain heal? Would my body heal? For those who know the story, I had wrecked a four wheeler, an ATV, and snapped my wrist off, broke a couple ribs, threw out my hip, dislocated my shoulder, rattled my brain with a traumatic brain injury and post-concussive syndrome. Tough time.

Tough two years, brutal in many ways and it was a moment where I could have quit or I could say, “All right, I guess this is asking me to get better. This is a big challenge. How will I meet it from my best self? How will I maintain my own energy? How will I reach out to people? How will I trust that even if I feel limited in this moment, that limitation, there’s still a gate that is opening to the future. Even if I feel alone right now and it’s dark, I’m telling you what, that cocoon is just building around me if I stay open and trusting in nature and faith or God and suddenly that cocoon opens up and I emerge as a different being.”