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- “The longer you wait on the decisions or forging the character that you know you should do, the more hurtful it is to your character and your identity.”
- If you’ve been putting your dream on hold, it’s time to learn how that’s harming your character and self-trust. Follow this training to develop the courage to pursue your dreams!
- “It’s hard to start your comeback story if you can’t trust yourself to wake up tomorrow and do the things you know that are right for your life.”
- Learn how to go from discouragement to comeback so you can build self-trust, nurture new habits, and gain momentum towards your goals.
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[The following is the full transcript of this episode of The Brendon Show. Please note that this episode, like all TBS episodes, features Brendon speaking extemporaneously–he is unscripted and unedited. Filmed in one take, The Brendon Show has become one of the most viewed unscripted, direct-to-camera self-help series in the history of YouTube. It has also been the #1 Podcast in all of iTunes and is regularly in the top podcasts in Self-Help and Health categories around the globe. Subscribe to the free motivational podcast on iTunes or Stitcher.)
Do not wait until “X” happens for you to start changing your behavior, changing your lifestyle, changing your habits, and starting this new chapter. Do not wait. Many of you are in a wait story. You’re in a waiting pattern. I want you to think about this. You’re like, “As soon as the kids leave, Brendon, then we can be happy, things’ll be good, we’re just going to wait.” No—it’s time to start living your life each day.
I had this friend of mine recently who’s been someone I’ve been coaching at a high level for multiple years in our Certified High Performance Coaching program. This person literally said to me on a coaching call this last week, “Oh yeah, Brendon, I’ve been waiting to change my diet. I’m going to do that, but I’m going to wait until after rehab.” They literally said, “I’m going to wait until after rehab.” I’m like, “What?” I hope you think that’s as funny as I do. But listen, it’s just as silly for you to be telling yourself, “Well, I’ll wait until I feel better one day. I’ll wait until one day the kids leave, I’ll wait until I’m rich, I’ll wait until we get the new house, I’ll wait until we start the new job, I’ll wait until we move to a new city, I’ll wait until she finally says ‘yes,’ I’ll wait until he finally approves, I’ll wait until I finally feel like it.”
Do not wait until. Tomorrow is the beginning of the new chapter. Because the new chapter always begins with a new way of thinking, doesn’t it? It starts with a new way of being in the world, new habits.
And you don’t have to wait for people to understand you. You don’t have to wait for anybody to give you permission or approval. You have to accept that it’s on you. That’s where this begins. The comeback story happens when you go, “It’s on me, it’s my choice, here we go. Tomorrow I’m going to start speaking to myself in healthier ways. Tomorrow I’m going to start eating healthier. Tomorrow, I’m going to start working out more. Tomorrow, I’m going to protect my time more. Tomorrow, I’m going to value my wellness more. Tomorrow, I’m going to do my art more. Tomorrow, I’m going to be happier and more connected.” It’s a choice for you, got it?
Like at some point you have to go, “I don’t have to wait anymore.” Some of you are waiting until you earn something or you’re certified at this or you get promoted to that. What I’d love for you to do in your own honesty today is ask where have you been waiting? What’s that thing you’re like, “Well, I’ll do that someday?”
Because listen, the more that you are waiting on, the more that restlessness inside is activating. The more that you’re waiting on the things that you know you need to be or do or create or move towards, the more of those, they stack up an internal dislike.
Your psychology goes, “Well, I want these things, I know they’re important to me, but I’m not acting towards them.” And what it does is it erodes your self-trust.
Do you know why so many people stay in the chapters of discouragement verses starting their comeback story? It’s because they’re still living in self-distrust. And a lot of that self-distrust isn’t because they’re a bad person. It’s because there’s a part of them that’s waiting. And their mind and their body in the background is saying, “Hey Brendon, do these things.” And my mind goes, “I know those are good things and those are the right things but you know what, I feel bad about myself today. So instead, I’ll go watch three seasons of something on Netflix. I know those are the right things to do or that’s the right way for me to behave but I’m going to wait until she’s spent. You know what, it is nice to be nice but I’m not going to be nice because look at her behavior. So I’m going to be rude just as long as she is.” And the back of your mind goes, “But that’s not congruent with who you are.
Why are you acting and behaving on somebody else’s level and waiting to be your best self?”The reason so many people live in the discouragement story versus the comeback story is because of self-distrust. They’re not doing now what they know they can and should. They’re not being now who they can and should.
They are not moving forward like they know their potential is capable of and inside it’s just like every single thing that you’re waiting on that you know you should do is one more layer of distrust in your identity. And you stack up enough waitings on somebody, things they know they should do, waiting to live their life, waiting to speak well to themselves, waiting to start the diet or the nutrition plan or the healthy activities and their brain starts distrusting themselves. It says, “You know what? I can’t count on you to do the things you know you should do.” I hope you guys get what I’m talking about. It’s a way of hurting ourselves—is waiting.
The longer you wait on the decisions or forging the character that you know you should do, the more hurtful it is to your character and your identity.
Now I know some of you come here for a lot more motivation than that, but I do believe that my role as your virtual coach is sometimes to have you look at yourself and be honest here.
It’s hard to start your comeback story if you can’t trust yourself to wake up tomorrow and do the things you know that are right for your life.
That means some of you, you’ve been waiting to have that difficult conversation with your spouse until never. Some of you have been waiting to ask for that thing you dream of at work until never. Some of you have been waiting to start that business or that new book or that new endeavor until never. Now you tell yourself, “No, until these things.” And what you’re telling yourself is, “I’m going to wait until all the perfect things completely line up. When it’s all perfect, then I’ll go.” And your brain goes, “You are so full of crap. You know you’re waiting because you’re scared or you’re mad at yourself or you don’t trust yourself. So what are you doing here, brain? You’re lying to yourself.” And then your heart, your spirit, knows you can’t trust yourself and that’s why you’re not being more decisive and starting the new story and the new chapter.
And listen, I know I’m teasing a little bit here today and I try to poke fun a little bit but I spend my life with people who are literally paying half a million dollars or more to work with me and I cannot tell you how many times this is the issue for them and you would think, “Oh no, if they can afford that, they must not have this issue.” I’m here to tell you, everyone has that issue. The people who I coach on the covers of magazines, my friends, they have this issue. When I was down and out and the worst of myself, I had that issue. I know you all have that issue. We all do things that create self distrust inside. And so, do not wait. Do not wait until the perfect things.
So what I’d love for you to do is—you’ve got a journal here today. And I hope you have a journal somewhere—piece of paper, napkin, write it with lipstick on the floor if you have to or wherever you’ve got to put it. I don’t care where you’ve got to put it, ladies and gentlemen, what I’d love for you to do is write out the “do not wait” list. Do not wait to say I love you to my spouse, even though you might be in a fight. Do not wait to start writing that book until you’re rich and you have all this time. Do not wait to create a better relationship with the kids until they’re more mature. Do not wait. Have that “do not wait” list because it’s a hard one.
I was like, “Do not wait”, and it could be simple things, dream things. I literally wrote one time, maybe a couple months ago, I wrote, “Do not wait to move to the place that you would love to live and create every day.” Now I’m in Puerto Rico. Do not wait to get yourself healthier just because you’re busy. Do not wait. I think a “do not wait” list can be really great. Don’t wait until everything’s perfect, my friend. The new chapter starts today. Discouragement story, comeback story. Comeback story starts with asking, “Where have I been waiting? Because my body, my mind needs to trust itself. I need to trust myself to take action towards the things that matter the most.”