- “The purpose of life is manifested through our relationships.”
- Do you feel like your life has no purpose? In this episode, learn how you can cultivate a purpose in your life through purposeful interactions and relationships with the people, and world around you.
- “Do you have five people who are awesome to be around in your life? Like awesome and purposeful? If not, time to meet them. Time to engage more in the community section of GrowthDay. Time to go out and volunteer.”
- If you feel like you are struggling in any of your relationships, it’s time to do some work! Either you must improve that situation with that person OR exit the situation entirely. You’ve got to find a community that will help build you up, support you, and meet all your needs.
- Watch the video to get the full training.
- Already have the High Performance Planner and CRUSHING each and every day? Let’s celebrate you! Take a photo with your planner and use #GrowthDay so we can find you on social media!
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[The following is the full transcript of this episode of The Brendon Show. Please note that this episode, like all TBS episodes, features Brendon speaking extemporaneously–he is unscripted and unedited. Filmed in one take, The Brendon Show has become one of the most viewed unscripted, direct-to-camera self-help series in the history of YouTube. It has also been the #1 Podcast in all of iTunes and is regularly in the top podcasts in the Self-Help and Health categories around the globe. Subscribe to the free motivational podcast on iTunes or Stitcher.)
1. Deepen Your Relationships
I don’t think there’s more easy access to a greater sense of purpose or well-being than being more intentional in the relationships we have. But that often happens because of one of two things. Either, one, we suddenly realize that the purpose of life is manifested through our relationships. The purpose of life is manifested through our relationships. You’ve heard all of the GrowthDay teachers talk about the research about how your relationships actually lead to the highest levels of not only positive well-being, not only life satisfaction but longevity. The biggest study of the longest living people on the planet happens to be completed showing the highest correlation between life length and positive life. Meaning you lived a good life and you lived a long life, came from people who had one or two deep, meaningful relationships and they found purpose in that. They found purpose in their children, or they found purpose with their wife or their spouse or their partner or their family. There was purpose there, and sometimes purpose in the social realm can really fill us up in the self realm.
So for those of you who are struggling with yourself, know that maybe you should deepen some of those relationships around you. A reminder to all of you: If you’re struggling in any relationships in your life, as a GrowthDay pro member, when you click the learn section and you watch past events under the live events section, you’ll be able to see an entire month’s training that you can sort by on relationships. And I think that’s a really important call-out here. We’ve got, like, I taught relationships for 2 hours there. Jenna Kutcher did. Koya Webb did. Anthony Trucks did. All eight of our teachers, or so, taught an hour on how they have learned about relationships from research or their coaching or teaching practice, and what they do in their own lives to develop those relationships.
2. Get Around Purposeful People
Our social realm is incredibly purposeful. Most importantly is this— and you all know this as strivers here in GrowthDay, but I think it’s so critical— you’ve got to be around purposeful people. You’ve got to be around purposeful people. If you feel like the people around you aren’t as purposeful as they should, send them to GrowthDay.com. They can sign up for a free trial and they can watch this replay tomorrow. You know, it’s like maybe they need a little training. A lot of people need training on this topic. Just like my friend, I told you about, the woman I was coaching, who she’d never been trained to ask the question, what would make her feel fulfilled? Most people have never been trained on purpose either. But getting around striving, giving, generous, kind, compassionate, high performing people will completely make you feel different about life.
I think about my friendships and the people in my life. They’ve got a lot of purposes and it doesn’t mean they have this end game. It means their living purposeful lives with great intention, appreciation, and presence. So they’re awesome to be around. Do you have five people who are awesome to be around in your life? Like awesome and purposeful? If not, time to meet them. Time to engage more in the community section of GrowthDay. Time to go out and volunteer. My very favorite way to change someone’s life is to turn them into a volunteer. I don’t care what they volunteer for but go volunteer. It will change everything because who does volunteering? Purposeful humans, you know? So it’s my favorite way to improve your social life. If you’re not around purposeful people, volunteer. You’ll meet more purposeful people, more intentional people, more pleasant people, more appreciative people.
4. Don’t Let Bad Relationships Fester
But also if you are struggling in any of your relationships, please watch the relationship training or courses in GrowthDay, because they’ve found that just one negative or hurtful relationship in your life can dramatically decrease your sense of purpose in life. Your overall sense of purpose by one person, and we know that to be true in your career, right? You have one bad boss. They can ruin the whole company for you. Well, that’s true in our personal lives, too. One negative, hurtful person consistently in your life tends to decrease your sense of purpose in life by three points out of ten. So, let’s say on a scale of zero to ten, you feel life is purposeful and you’re really connected to it.
- Ten: You feel totally purposeful, totally connected.
- Zero: you have none.
Let’s say you’re at level seven, having one negative or hurtful person recurring in your life takes that seven down to a four. That’s why that saying “don’t suffer fools” is a good one. If you got somebody who’s negative or hurtful, it’s time to do the relationship work to either improve that situation with that person, help them get assistance or help or coaching, or exit that situation. If you can’t do any of those, then you’ve got to find a tribe or a community over here that you build up that meets those needs.
And I think that’s important because sometimes people say, “Well, Brendon, my mother, she’s terrible and I hate having her around”. I’m like, okay, well, you can’t necessarily replace your momma. Maybe you can limit time there, but sometimes people can’t. Their caregiving as an example, and I’m like, okay, well then outside that house we’ve got to develop the relationships that provide you with that sense where it’s lacking there in that particular relationship. And so I think that’s really, really important that maybe we can’t choose our family or the immediate circumstances we’re experiencing, but we can build up a community over here that supports us.