- “If we don’t make self-improvement a way of life, that means we are consciously being intentional about our day. We are evaluating ourselves. We’re being aware of how we’re experiencing life. We’re being aware of our thoughts, feelings, emotions. We’re directing those things and taking responsibility for those things a little bit better. We’re entering situations and social situations in ways that are a little more intentional or a little bit more graceful or what we’ll talk about today as purposeful.”
- To change your life, you must make a habit to grow, learn, to work on yourself. In this episode, learn how to better prioritize changing your behaviors and self-improvement. When you’re more intentional, you’re more purposeful!
- “You started going through the motions and so you lost the motivation. You can still do the same thing, but instead of just going through it unconsciously, bring conscious intention by bringing purposeful being to a thing, it changes.”
- Do the work! As you learn to be more purposeful on a regular basis, you will shift. But only if you make self-improvement and growth a way of life.
- Watch the video to get the full training.
- Already have the High Performance Planner and CRUSHING each and every day? Let’s celebrate you! Take a photo with your planner and use #GrowthDay so we can find you on social media!
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[The following is the full transcript of this episode of The Brendon Show. Please note that this episode, like all TBS episodes, features Brendon speaking extemporaneously–he is unscripted and unedited. Filmed in one take, The Brendon Show has become one of the most viewed unscripted, direct-to-camera self-help series in the history of YouTube. It has also been the #1 Podcast in all of iTunes and is regularly in the top podcasts in the Self-Help and Health categories around the globe. Subscribe to the free motivational podcast on iTunes or Stitcher.)
When people have clarity about their future and clarity about their purpose, it tends to come in different categories here, okay? So let me give you some of those categories.
First is yourself. I know that sounds like, “No duh, Brendon”, but this is yourself in terms of your identity. This is yourself in terms of who you are becoming and this is yourself in terms of your self-worth, okay? I’ll cover those three elements here in a second. Self in regards to your identity — Who am I? Self in terms of who you are becoming — Who do I believe I am meant to become? Or who do I desire to become? And lastly, self in terms of self-worth — Am I worthy?
These questions make you either feel connected as a purposeful being or they make you feel terrible. And so let’s explore them in terms of your identity. I always ask this in my seminars, if you’ve never done this work with me, it’s from one of my other books called The Charge, and the Charge being like the amp, as the battery pack, like, you know, the subtitle was Activating the Ten Human Drives That Make You Feel Alive.
1. Make Self-Improvement a Way of Life
Sometimes there’s life circumstances that just kind of shake you up. You know, many of you guys know my story. I just, you know, I’m here because I had a car accident when I was 19 years old, and it knocked some sense into my young man’s head and said, “hey, life can be incredible. You just don’t know how to do it, kid. You’re going to have to learn to live. You’re going to have to learn to love. You’re going to have to learn the matter”. And I had to learn how to do that. And even if you’ve heard that story before, you probably never heard me say this part, which is: because I speak all the time, and I’ve shared that story literally thousands and thousands of times, I’ve had thousands and thousands of people come up to me after events. And one of the, you know, sad but tragic and real things that happens sometimes is people come up and they say, “Brendon, I hear your car accident story and you changed your life. I had a car accident. My car accident was worse than your’s”, or “my – I had a car accident. It was the same as your’s”, or “I had a car accident, and I should have had a realization”, but they all say the same thing: I had this situation and it didn’t change me – why?
People ask me that all the time in interviews: why do you think that you had a car accident that changed your life? Or, you’ve had these brain injuries, or you’ve had these traumas and you shifted from it. And other people have that same experience, or even more of a sort of like a wake up call, but they don’t wake up. Why? Why is that some people have the same situation, and it’s a wake up call to them, and it shifts them and changes, and it actually causes transformation? Sometimes called “post-traumatic growth”, you know. And other people same situation. Nothing changes. Well, they’ve studied this in psychology and they’ve found a lot of interesting things that you would say: of course, well, for some people, it mattered. It meant something. For some people, you know, there was this going on in their life. For some people, they were in this age. Some people they were, you know, in this you know, this mental or emotional state or stage. And unfortunately, psychology usually is not in charge of long term development. Right? Most psychology studies are very short term, and even the long term ones aren’t measuring for what makes the transformation. They’re more conceptual and they’re more surveyed-driven.
2. Live Purposefully
But here’s what you would find if you actually coach people and you work with people over and over and over again, you know what you find? The difference maker isn’t the event – how transformative or traumatic or even the meaning at the event. What changes for people is if after the cue. Right? The cue is the triggering event, the situation. After that, if after that, they make personal development or what we say, self-improvement, a way of life, the changes happen, the transformation is sustained or manifested. If we don’t make self-improvement a way of life, that means we are consciously being intentional about our day. We are evaluating ourselves. We’re being aware of how we’re experiencing life. We’re being aware of our thoughts, our feelings, emotions. We’re directing those things and taking responsibility for those things a little bit better. We’re entering situations and social situations in ways that are a little more intentional or a little bit more graceful or what we’ll talk about today as purposeful.
And we choose to do that over and over, even after the bad days, even after we screw up, even if our scores suck, even after we feel terrible. What ends up happening is those folks change their life. They made it a habit to grow after the inciting incident, after the thing happened, they took in this idea: I got to learn. I got to work on myself. I got to prioritize my wellness or change my behaviors or treat people better. And it became a habit of growth. That is what we do here at GrowthDay. We make self-improvement a way of life by giving these tools and these coaching, these sessions, all of the amazing community opportunities. We do that because if this is a way of life, you grow. You can’t grow from something one time, just like you don’t put a seed in the ground and water it one time with a Coca-Cola and think that thing’s going to grow up into something outstanding. And that’s what most people do.
3. Cultivate Growth and Change
There’s a seed of change. They pour poisonous mindsets, poisonous habits, poisonous people on top of it, and they’re like, “I don’t know why it’s not growing?” Well, A) you’re poisoning the plant, B) you didn’t realize that it had to be cultivated. Personal growth and purpose is something to be cultivated on a very regular basis. Otherwise, you lose touch with it. Just like most people say, “I lost my motivation”. I go, “You didn’t lose your motivation. You lost the practice of paying attention to the things that matter to you and using your mind to rev you up for those things”. That’s all. You started going through the motions and so you lost the motivation. You can still do the same thing, but instead of just going through it unconsciously, bring conscious intention by bringing purposeful being to a thing, it changes.
Well, as you learn to make being a purposeful being happen on a more regular basis, I promise you can shift. And that’s the hopeful message for today. I know sometimes you watch something like this, you’re not in a good mood. You don’t feel good. There’s been a travesty. Something’s going on in the world you don’t like, and your day is just kind of like all over the place. But that’s why we’re here. It’s got to do … It’s like constantly doing the work.
4. ‘I Love Constantly Doing the Work’
I would love for you to all type this in either your journal or the chat or the comments right now: I love constantly doing the work. Actually write it down, “I love constantly doing the work”. You have to teach yourself. “I love constantly doing the work”. I get an argument with my wife, I’m like, “I love constantly doing work!” Like, you have to keep generating the ambition and the engagement and enjoyment of doing the person development work. You know? I walk out of a conflict or an argument with somebody and I have to go recenter myself. I’m like: OK, Brendon, chance to learn, buddy. What do you got to learn? How can next time be better? How do I really want to show up? How can I repair this? How can we improve the situation next time? How could I approach it differently? What can I watch for next time to make it better? Let me try. You got this next time, Brendon. Be grateful for today. You got this next time. A little more intention. OK, here we go. Just over and over and over giving yourself the grace to learn, to the to enter the next situation more intentionally. That’s the stuff of purpose.